To the girl I was a year ago,
Right now you are a heartbroken hot mess. The person you thought you would spend forever with chose someone over you and he did it in the most hateful way you could imagine. He told you that you weren't good enough. You are about to spend so much time laying in bed wallowing in your own self pity. Crying every time you think about it. Picturing him with this other girl will feel like your heart is literally being ripped out of your chest and you are questioning what you could've done to be enough for him to choose you. You are thinking that you'll never get through this and never be happy again.
Girl, I wish you could see yourself a year from now.
A year from now, the guy you're crying about is a distant memory. You actually thank God every day that he removed this guy from your life. You will realize just how brainwashed he had you and see that was never love, it was abuse. You pray for the girl he's with now, because you hope that he doesn't put her through the same hell he put you through for all those years. You are going to be a strong woman that stands up for herself and doesn't let any guy's decisions define your worth.
A year from now, you are going to be put in a similar situation to what you are in now. A guy that you have opened your guarded heart to and come to love doesn't choose you. (Maybe we should write a letter to your future self about your choice in men). But guess what? YOU ARE OKAY. You are not wallowing in self pity. You are not crying yourself to sleep. When this guy decides someone else is a better option than you, you thank God for showing you the real type of person he is now instead of later. Is it still going to hurt like hell? ABSOLUTELY. Will you cry? A little. You haven't turned into a heartless person. But now, you've learned to see the silver lining in the dark times. A year from now if people decide to exit your life, you help them out the door instead of begging for them to stay. Because you know that anyone that decides to leave your life is not meant to be there. Seems unbelievable, right?
I wish you could see how far you're going to come in the next year. I wish you could see the self love you are going to have. You probably wouldn't even recognize the person you are going to become.
Right now your world is crashing down around you and you see no light at the end of the tunnel. You are thinking that nobody is going to love you and you'll spend forever as the old cat lady. Have you found your soulmate yet? No. But in the next year, you will realize that God has a plan for everything. You are ridiculously impatient about it, but you will realize that one day God is going to send you your soulmate. You will grow into a person you never thought you would be.
A year from now, you will be happy. It won't be because of any guy. It will be because you know that you are enough for the person God has chosen for you. A year from now the words "you're not good enough" do not echo in your head like they do now. A year from now, you hear "you are enough", and use it as a daily reminder that the person God has hand picked just for you will be someone who will always remind you of that daily.
It's a tough road ahead. But it's worth it.
