When Mother's Day comes around, it usually means taking the time to show some appreciation to our mother figure in our lives. Whether it's making her breakfast in bed or taking her put to her favorite restaurant, we want the best for our moms. This time, I wanted to show a little extra appreciation for the moms that were faced with raising a child on their own. Whatever the circumstances brought their way, they truly showed what it means to be real strong women. They constantly persisted because they wanted the best for us. Now, it's our turn to show them that we noticed every single time.
To my mother,
You are the epitome of what I strive to be. You have shown me on numerous accounts what it is to believe in myself. If there was one thing I will ever learn from you, it is to never give up on what I believe in.
There were so many times where we had what was close to nothing, but I never knew. Even when I was old enough to comprehend the idea of economic status, I didn't mind that we didn't have much. You always made sure that I was taken care of. You always made sure that there was never a longing for anything my heart desired. I was spoiled to say the least. There were times where I knew you sacrificed certain things so that I could be happy. I want you to know that I saw these things. I saw every time you made sure I looked nice so that the other kids wouldn't say anything to me. I saw when you would try extra hard to be involved in my education growing up. I saw every little detail, and even though it seemed like I brushed it off, I remember every part.
There were times where I second guessed your guidance, and for that I apologize. There were things that you simply could not teach me and I had to experience for myself. I wanted so badly to have a father figure, but not for the reasons you think. Yes, I missed out on silly things like father-daughter dances, but that wasn't what I cared about. I didn't want to have a father figure in the house for me, I wanted to have a life partner for you. I wanted to see you end up with someone good.
Mom, I always wanted nothing more than to see you happy. Growing up, I didn't understand why it was always just you and I, but I didn't mind having quality time with you. I remember getting upset at night before bed as a child because I would ask for someone to send you a man who would love you as much as I loved you. I now know that there is nobody who could love you unconditionally as much as I could.
When I first found out you were sick at 13, I was scared. Mostly, I was scared because I thought I was going to lose you to the same sickness that took your sister. It was a really hard time, and I couldn't quite understand why you had to be the one to endure such a fate. After everything life brought your way, I was so angry. You have done nothing but fight for other people and do everything and anything for everyone else, especially me. As you went through chemo, I knew you would come out of it stronger than ever. That's when I realized I had to do better. I had to be better because you couldn't do it by yourself anymore. It was mine turn to look after you.
For all these reasons and more, I appreciate you. I should probably say that more than I do, but this is me trying to make up for it. I know I may not be a child anymore, but I do know that wherever life takes me you'll be right next to me. Every heartbreak, every broken bone, you know exactly what to do. Maybe it's your spidey-mom senses, but you know exactly what to do.
I spend every day trying to make you proud of the person I am and will become. I promise to look forward to more movie dates and nights where we can't help but laugh at the inconveniences life throws our way. I promise that if I become a clown, I will be the best clown there ever was, just for you.
I can't wait until the day where you're holding my hand when I walk down the aisle. You are my mother, father, and best friend all in one. I am grateful. I love you, Mom.