A Letter To "Swagmail from EmmaD"

A Letter To "Swagmail from EmmaD"

Time passes, friendships change, but true friendships last forever.


I just want you to know that I love you so much and your friendship means more to me than I can even describe. We have known each other for nine years now and you became my best friend from one of the first moments that we met. You have been there through all the ups and the downs, the super late nights, and really early mornings. You let me shop through your closet when I needed something to complete my outfit. We jammed out to music together, especially One Direction, and we went to concerts together. Truly, you were always there, and girl, I cannot thank you enough.

I remember when we agreed to tell each other which colleges we were going to our senior year of high school, and I also remember how excited we were that we happened to decide to go to the same college. We made so many plans together. We were going to go to every football and men's basketball game together, hammock, and workout together. Eat every meal that we could, text and call each other all of the time. We were going to do everything together like we did in high school just in college, and yet, our relationship could not be more different now.

We barely talk. You send me a picture on Snapchat everyday just to keep our streak alive. We don't hammock or go out to dinner anymore, heck I feel like I am lucky if I see you on campus once a month, but I want to let you know that I still think about you all the time and I hope that you are okay. A One Direction song will come on every once in a while, and it immediately brings me back to their concert that we went to, or that one time you tripped in my basement and completely wiped out from dancing around too hard.

I would be lying if I didn't say that it has been hard knowing our friendship is not the same. It is hard not seeing you every day or feeling like I could talk to you because I know that you would always answer. It is especially hard knowing that we are from the same town but mostly live in the same city. We go to the same college, and yet, it is like we barely know each other now. It is hard for me to comprehend what happened and how we got here, and maybe the answer is just that we simply became busy.

I know that I am graduating a year early, and therefore, we are going to lose a year of going to school together, but I just want to let you know that no matter where we both end up, I am always going to love you like my adopted sister, and you are always going to be one of my best friends. No matter what time of the day it is, I will be here. If you want to shop through my closet, you can always help yourself. If you want to jam out to some more music or put on some old One Direction jams, I will clear my schedule. As hard as it is to accept and realized that our friendship has changed, I am excited to see what our future holds because I know that true friendship never really ends.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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Finding Your Niche In College Starts With Finding You

Attempting to be someone you are not for the sake of having company only hurts you in the long run.


Transitioning to college is hard enough, but trying to find a place where you feel "at home" can make this time even more stressful. Here are some tips on how to find that place/group of people that make you feel like sunshine.

I have always felt a little out of place wherever I went, but it wasn't until college that I realized that this feeling was so special and more people should capitalize on their differences rather than conforming to a certain mold. Transitioning to college and finding your place among so many people can be very overwhelming. The added stress of attempting to be someone you aren't for the sake of having company adds a whole other layer to this problem. The easiest thing for me to do in any situation like this is trying to make the setting a little smaller. One of the most obvious ways to do this on a college campus is by getting involved!

It is inevitable that within the first few weeks of the semester at any college, there will be an organization fair. This is a chance to scope out all that your school has to offer! Chances are there will be some type of group or club that lines up with your interests. Most college campuses have extracurricular opportunities ranging from social sororities and fraternities, professional ones, intermural sports, vocal groups, and so many more. You are more than likely going to find some type of organization that you can call home if you seek them out. Joining an organization is such an easy way to interact with people with similar interests. An interest can bring two completely different people together and create some beautiful friendships. It is situations like this where it is important to be your authentic self and mingle with those you share something with.

That being said, finding your place in college isn't always about being involved. Getting involved on campus is just one of the simplest ways to start. There are so many other opportunities on campus to meet people whether it be among others in your residence hall, people in your classes, or just people you find yourself stumbling upon! Finding people to spend your time with is easy; however, you should make it a point to surround yourself with people who bring you up.

Once you have a set group of people that you find yourself spending time with, it is important to pay attention to the way you feel when you're around them. If you find yourself feeling bad about yourself or get the impression that you need to change something in order to "fit in," chances are the people you're around are not the best for you or your self-esteem. It is important to surround yourself with people who allow you to feel comfortable in your own skin. That being said, you also want people who encourage you to make good decisions and help you reach your goals. People who encourage toxic behavior in your life might be fun in the short term, but in the grand scheme of things, you need to be surrounded by people with your best interest in mind. Essentially, surrounding yourself with people who influence you to be your best self is one of the best decisions you can make short and long term.

The key to all of this is being conscious of your own feelings and needs. Pay attention to who reaches out to you to hang out. Notice the ones who pay attention to you as you speak when it feels like no one is listening. More than anything, be conscious of who you're with and where you're at when you experience moments of pure happiness. Life is too short to waste your precious time on people who don't build you up. Wouldn't you rather spend your time with more moments of pure joy than self-hate? Start living for you!

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