A Girl's Guide to Getting Over an Ex: How I Found My Own Self-Worth & Purpose

A Girl's Guide to Getting Over an Ex: How I Found My Own Self-Worth & Purpose

Break ups can be rough. Here is a guide to finding your own self-worth from a Girl Who has been there and done that.


Many people experience an array of emotions throughout a day, throughout a week, throughout a month. Emotions can get in the way, and can cloud your focus, making it difficult to act in a rationally manner. I feel when it comes to relationships, romantic ones particularly, it is very easy to jump back into the same old feelings and emotions one had previously. I want to say that emotions have a reason and a purpose in your life, demanding you to act a certain way, but another part of me wants to inform you that they are also irrelevant. I say irrelevant because emotions can cloud your focus.
I feel certain people come into your life for a reason, that reason being unknown. However, sometimes certain people that were in your life need to not be in the rest of it. Simply stating, sometimes an old 'friend' is an old friend for a reason and does not need to come back into your life and be your best friend, same with past relationships. Often, there are people that come into your life, despite the fact they are toxic for your well-being. I continue to personally let those that have hurt me back into my life, over and over again. I wonder "when will enough be enough?" or "what do they have to do this time to really make me cut them out of my life?" countless times when falling for the same lines and same tricks. I wonder, when will I give myself the respect to not tolerate such treatment anymore? I wonder when I will love myself enough to not talk or hang out with such people. Honestly, the people are not even vindictively trying to hurt others, they are just so focused on themselves that they cannot see the pain they invoke on others. I feel when one gets hurt they either learn a lesson or build up an emotional wall.

Despite the walls I have built up over the years, Hope is one weakness to such walls. I desire to believe everyone has good intentions and deserves a second chance; however, when conflicted with growing feelings for a past romantic interest, I grow naive and gullible, further hurting myself.

Surrounding the issue of relationship burdens, many girls have come to me for advice, mostly about boys and the drama surrounding an exclusive relationship, and I wonder why such girls allow boys to treat them with such disrespect. It appears as a society, we are all searching for love, for self-approval, and for others to like us. With such unreliable foundations for our self-esteem and confidence, it does not surprise me many individuals go back to the same people that have proven to hurt them time and time again, just so they can have a self-identity, a group, and a feeling of belonging. What I propose in this message, is that we as a society treat others better, but also treat ourselves better. We deserve more respect than what we give ourselves, and we deserve more love than what we give ourselves. Do not every let anyone make you think or feel like you are less than what you are.

As I usually do not include my own religious beliefs in my writings, so that everyone can look at them with unbiased eyes, I feel I need to include how even the Bible makes claims supporting this message. For example, in Jeremiah 29:11 the Bible states, "You are created with Purpose." Furthermore, in the next chapter, Jer. 31:3, the quotation, "You are Loved," is found in multiple references. Therefore, respect yourself and give yourself the best.

P.S. Girls, do not let a man make you feel less than what you are. You are beautiful. You are amazing. You are a creation of God. You are Loved. You are created with a Purpose. Do not forget these words of advice, and please know you are independent of a man's love, but dependent on God's love.

You can see more similar posts at my personal blog: www.withagrainofrye.com

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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