On July 4, 1776, the Continental Congress adopted the Declaration of Independence. And with the signing of that document, the 13 colonies were no longer a part of the British Empire and became the United States of America— an independent nation.
Of course, asserting this nation’s independence wasn’t as easy as signing a document, but that’s the thing about independence: it’s not something you can simply assert.
There is a deep difficulty associated with independence, as it demands to be proven. Being independent means (for the most part) cutting the ties that connect you to some other power that tells you what to do and how to live your life. Being independent means you are your own person.
Responsibility. Accountability. Hardship. It’s all on you.
Dealing with the burden that comes with making your own decisions can be overwhelming, and that struggle to successfully navigate the rocky waters of life in a single-person rowboat is one college students know all too well.
However, there is such accomplishment and value to be found in achieving independence and being able to tell yourself, “I’m alone and I’m okay.”
My job as a camp counselor this summer has taught me two things: one, that it is possible to suffer from a week-long headache, and two, that being your own person is a challenge that spans many years.
Every day, I watch groups of kids cling to each other— sometimes literally. Sally can’t play basketball because her best friend Charlie wants to go on the swings. Robert won’t be coming to camp next week because his best friend Jack will be on vacation.
As a counselor and adult figure, I’m supposed to tell these kids that it’s okay to be by themselves for a little while. And that’s what I tell them:
“Live your own life.”
I realize, though, how hypocritical I’m being when I speak these words to twelve-year-olds, because I, a college sophomore, don’t even live my own life. I am not an independent being.
But how many of us really are? How many of us can admit that truth? How many of us still follow our friends around, accepting their views and opinions as our own? How many of us feel so completely alone on a Friday night when all of our friends have other plans? How many of us can honestly tell ourselves, “I’m alone and I’m okay?”
That constant need to be with instead of just be is human, and while being completely independent is impossible, being the closest thing to what we consider independent is not.
Perhaps independence means being able to go see a movie by yourself. Or perhaps it being able to solve life's problems on your own.
Whatever independence is, there are so many opportunities in college for us to grow into ourselves— to define our own mentality, develop our interests and be ourselves. The social “norms” that pressed against our brains throughout adolescence do not exist anymore.
However, there is still value to be taken away from what we once knew. Use the control and influence that has guided your life for the past however-many-years to decide who the independent version of yourself is.
But whoever that independent person is, he or she should be able to be alone— and be okay with that.
As John Hancock famously declared before inking his name onto the Declaration of Independence:
“It won’t be easy, but we’ll get there.”
(Okay, I may have made that quote up.)
