On the first day of sorority rush I stood in line behind manicured, manically smiling soon-to-be sorority girls unsure of what to expect. A rush counselor squirted Purell on my hands, stripped me of my winter coat, reminded me to smile, and sent me on my way.
To every girl who feels just as clueless as I did going into rush--you are not alone. Here are nine rush tips written by a girl who made it out alive, with a bid in her hands and a new group of friends who I can't imagine my college experience without.
1. If you don't like Lily Pulitzer, don't wear Lily Pulitzer.
Somewhere between watching Sydney White as a tween and reading Total Sorority Move's blog posts, the stereotypical sorority girl was born. She exited the womb monogrammed and manicured and never looked back. On the first morning of rush, I stood in front of my closet full of clothes, which my mother would call "bohemian" and frowned, unsure if I would ever fit "the type." I decided on a favorite but respectable dress and joined the herd of Liilly-clad hopefuls lined up outside sorority row. Feeling nervous, out of place and extremely unsure what to do with my hands, the moment had arrived. Walking into the first house, chants and singing bouncing off the walls, and I felt a bit disoriented. Suddenly, a glint of gold caught my eye. A nose ring? In a sorority house? This "sister" was not "the type" I had imagined at all! It was an epiphany! Though I am not personally cool enough to wear a nose ring, meeting this girl showed me that I didn't have to try to fit "the type" to fit in.
2. Find the people you can eat pancakes with.![]()
In many ways, rush is like dating. You talk to a few girls, see if you're compatible and decide whether or not their sorority is for you. These are the girls who you will be spending most of your time with over the next few years, so you have to feel comfortable around them. You shouldn't choose a group of girls based on someone else's opinion or recommendations. Rather choose based on who made you feel at ease. Ask yourself, "Can I see myself eating my weight in pancakes with these girls every Sunday morning, wearing last night's makeup?" If you have chosen the right sisterhood, your answer should be, "Yes feeling no shame."
3. Sorority girls are like spiders.
Just like most insects, sorority girls are just as afraid of you as you are of them. Going into rush week I was nervous about a million things. What if I had to go to the bathroom in a house? What if I broke a heel? What if a conversation gets caught in the loud echo of awkward silence? The girls you will talk to, no matter the house, will have the same type of nervousness. They are under the pressure of getting to know each girl, asking the right questions and keeping the conversations interesting. Their sorority holds each of them responsible for whether or not you will want to come back tomorrow--they'll want to impress you just as much as you want to impress them.
4. Avoid word vomit. 
We are all prone to word vomit at one point or another. But at all costs, you should try to avoid the five Bs: booze, boys, bank, Barrack, and Bible. Rush isn't the time to talk about when you were "Sooooo wasted" last weekend, or the hot boy you went home with who happens to be the chapter president's boyfriend. It's not the place to discuss your family's finances or personal topics like political or religious beliefs.
5. Not all 200 girls in the sorority like pink. ![]()
Before rush, it's likely that you've heard every sorority's reputation and/or stereotype. It's important to keep an open mind and to make your own judgements. Although there is a good chance you will get a certain vibe from each house, sororities tend to be a large and eclectic group of various personalities. Therefore, it's almost impossible for one characteristic to sum up an entire group.
6. Your mother isn't always right.
Even if your mom and her mom and her mom's mom were all Zeta Beta Zetas, you should still make your own decisions. Every organization varies from campus to campus. Maybe the ZBZs were the "best" at your mom's school, but at your university they may have a totally different persona. Try to avoid all outside influences and pick the sorority that you feel is the best fit for you.
7. Talk about things other than your major and where you're from.
By Day 2, you will be tired of answering the big three questions: Where are you from, what is your major, and where do you live on campus? The good news is that you can choose what you'd like to discuss and the girls will be grateful to take a break from the usual small talk. Bring up subjects that are important to you. You should choose an organization whose members hold your same interests and values, so in each conversation try to find out as much as you can. If service is your thing, pay close attention during the philanthropy round and ask sisters what their chapter does in the way of outreach. If you are looking for a group of girls to hang out with on the weekends, you might want to ask how often the girls get together socially. Your conversations are your best opportunities to decide whether or not you can see yourself as a member within each sorority.
8. There will be ups and downs. ![]()
Throughout the recruitment process, there will be ups and downs. You may get dropped from houses you really liked, even ones where you had good conversations. Although you may not be asked back to a certain house, it doesn't necessarily mean that they didn't like you. There are so many girls going through recruitment that it makes the process very competitive and the sheer volume of girls to remember can be overwhelming. However, generally speaking, each sorority not only looks for girls who made an impression, but also for those people who could potentially lead or improve their chapter. Ultimately, rush can at times be stressful, however, you will end up where you're supposed to be if you stay true to yourself.
9. It's all worth it in the end.
Rush is stressful. The days are long and some conversations can be uncomfortable, but it's so worth it in the end. A process that only lasts a few days somehow ends up placing everyone exactly where they should be. You'll meet the people who will become your closest friends, who will share the same memories, experiences and form bonds that will last a lifetime. Join a sorority because you love it, not because of your best friend or your family wants you to. Join a sorority because you're proud to be a member, proud of what the girls stand for and excited about where you feel it can take you. Join the sorority that fits you and one day you will likely say that you can't imagine being anywhere else.
