Anxiety is not just "over reacting". Anxiety is a mental illness that can actually affect a way a person lives day to day. Some people cannot control it, and some people do not know when their next attack will strike. Living with anxiety is terrifying to say the least. Some people might think were "crazy" but sometimes we actually feel crazy. Here is 9 things you should NEVER say to a person with anxiety.
1. Anxiety is all in your head.
While your statement is valid, anxiety is not all in our head. It is not made up and is a real illness. The people who suffer from anxiety have a brain that is wired a little differently than someone without it.
2. Dude, stop stressing and calm down.
You just threw the cat in the bath tub. We do not choose when anxiety will hit us nor can we control how to stop it. There are certain things we can do to suppress some of the symptoms, but it doesn't just go away. Telling someone with anxiety to stop stressing over the small things or to just "calm down" is like telling someone with cancer to just "get better". It takes time to learn to even control it in the slightest bit.
3. It's not that bad, just do it.
Am I playing little league? By telling someone with anxiety to try and change their pattern or routine can cause more damage than good. We know what we can or cannot do that might trigger an attack. So trust us when we say "no thank you".
4. There are people out there dying and your stressing over nothing.
To you, yes it may be nothing. But to us, its everything. We think about it all the time and worry NON STOP about what might happen next. Just because its not a physical illness and were not coughing or throwing up, doesn't mean we aren't "sick".
5. Just don't think about it anymore.
Like I said earlier, its all we think about. All day, everyday.
6. You're so young, what's there to be stressed about.
Oh I don't know. How am I gonna eat dinner tonight? Will I be able to pay off my student loans? Did i work enough this week to cover bills? Will I ever get married? Will it rain on my wedding day? What will they bury me in when I die? Might sound odd to you but I sometimes tend to stress.
7. You need help.
Yes, you're right. I do. But it is not up to you to tell me that. We already feel bad enough that we feel bad about everything. The last thing we need is our friends constantly telling me I'm "crazy" and need help. (Being a friend and talking, and encouraging someone to see a doctor is NOT a bad thing).
8. Everything is going to be fine.
This is a big one. Yes one day things might be fine. But what if they aren't? Thats where it all begins. Encouraging a friend to not sweat the small stuff is fine, but don't tell them everything will be okay. Cause most likely, we won't believe you. Help them accept what they are feeling, and reassure them it is okay to feel this way.
9. DONT CALL THEM A DRAMA QUEEN.
This will likely end all friendship ties you might have with this person. As a friend you need to accept that your friend does have a "problem". Don't bash them by making them feel insecure about themselves, and feelings, more than they already do. It won't solve anything.
Someone who suffers from anxiety should seek counseling. It is the best method to solving some of the symptoms. Taking medication does not mean someone is weak, or unstable. It means they are strong minded, accepting, and willing to try and work on it. It may take time, but remember its worse for your friend than it is for you I promise.
