1. How to "BS" literally anything. This can include but is not limited to: term papers, tests, relationships, friendships, etc. College is a very magical time where you find yourself over-involved and not wanting to sacrifice any of your social life for your schoolwork. It is at this time that you start to become a Jedi master BS-er.
2. That nothing before college actually counts much in the real world except, like, felonies. I know you were really excited when you did something super cool in high school (lol, rhymes), but your resume is kind of wiped clean once you hit higher education standards. This idea does not apply to serious things like legal trouble. Note to high schoolers: do the right thing, then take it easy. Remember what will matter in a few years.
3. What dating in the real world is like. This is especially wonderful if you don't have parents over your shoulder everyday. You can get to know someone without feeling uncomfortable about holding hands on your living room couch while your mom is in the kitchen. It's really something.
4. How to cook Easy Mac and order solely off of the dollar menu. We college-aged folk have a super special ability, and it's one that will not last a lifetime: we are able to consume excessive calories with only minor consequences. Yeah sure, the freshman 15 and everything, but give it 10 years and try to even glance at chicken wings. You'll gain 2 pounds. That said, in desperation to fill that hungry hole in your heart, you will find ways to feed yourself the worst crap you can find for as cheap as possible.
5. That you're essentially paying thousands of dollars to end up with a piece of paper and maybe a job that pays off your debt. Maybe. I don't think anything else needs to be said about this.
6. Alternative energy sources: coffee, 5 hour energy drinks, etc. BS-ing takes energy, people.
7. How (and why) you were an embarrassing know-it-all version of yourself in high school. It's okay, we've all been there. Just un-tag the photos and no one will know.
8. Why the “real world" isn't all that fantastic and why you were an idiot for thinking that you wanted to get there faster. After this little college world, you have to be a person who gets health insurance, who functions in relationships (hopefully), who buys a home or rents an apartment, and who holds a steady job (or doesn't and just travels and pursues their passions). The point: regardless of what you choose to do, you have to actually do it when college is over.
9. The three B's of being poor: bills, budgeting, bargaining. It's pretty self-explanatory when you're living off of $30 per week.
Alright, that's it. College can be an extremely stressful time in our lives, but it can also be the most fulfilling and meaningful time of our lives. College helps mold and create the person you're going to be for the rest of your life. People truly find out who they really are in college. So do yourself a giant favor, don't sweat the small stuff, and enjoy the ride. Because you only get to do it once.
