1. Live your truth
Never hide or apologize for who you are. The right people will appreciate you for everything you are; even the aspects of yourself that you want to withhold. (see No. 5)
2. Spend time with yourself
I never knew how important it was to take time to relax on my own. At college, you are surrounded by your friends and peers 24/7, all day, every day, around the clock. All the socializing is healthy and fun… until it’s not. Towards the middle of the year I felt stretched too thin. I had a break down one night because I was just overwhelmed. I was concentrating on everything and everyone but myself. It may seem strange, but I found that being by myself for a couple hours a week was refreshing. I often went to my school’s café and sat by myself, where there was no one I needed to talk to or entertain or do something for. It was just me and my thoughts. I was done neglecting myself, so I wrote out my thoughts. And I’m telling you, self-reflection is therapeutic people.
3. Self-pity is dumb
I always joked that I was going to hold many pity parties for myself while at college. I know now that was an idiotic move on my part. You shouldn’t have time to be full of self-pity. Nevertheless, I thought I needed it in my life. Therefore, I made a deal with myself after my parents left me the day I moved in; each day you are allowed 5 minutes of self-pity, but then you gotta get up and be a boss. I laugh just thinking about it now. However, I also discovered that self-pity and actual deep, genuine misery are two completely different monsters. Self-pity is dumb because it is self-absorbed. For I learned that, often, I just needed to get over myself. Genuine unhappiness, on the other hand, must be dealt with accordingly. Personally, I found that a good cry, a good sleep, and a good laugh are the best cures for anything.
4. Be ready to deal with mistakes
The most important thing to keep in mind about mistakes, is that they are inevitable. You are going to have a couple hiccups, there’s no way around them. And if college is nothing but smooth sailing for you… then, I envy you, but I also think you’re doing something wrong. The second most important thing to keep in mind about mistakes is how you deal with them. My father always told me that as humans, we are defined by how we handle adversity; and I can tell you now, there are no truer words.
5. Another person's beauty is not the absence of your own
Here’s the thing, you must learn to love and accept people as they are in hopes that they will do the same for you. That’s all you can do for them. But for yourself, you can do a whole lot more. (see No. 1)
6. It's all about growth, not change
A lot of people think they’re going to change when they go off to college. I do not necessarily believe this is true. More accurately, I believe, college promotes growth, not change. At the end of the day, you stay true to yourself, but you become (and are becoming) a better version of yourself.
7. Breathe life
Breathe life into people. I don’t know what else to say because this one is hard to explain. I just think people need people. You and me, him and her—it’s us— we’re what makes life worth it.
8. Stay out of drama
This is a hard one, but drama is as exhausting and stressful as it is pointless. Drama is also painful and, from my experiences, drama does not discriminate— it hurts everyone involved.
9. Make the ordinary come alive
Don’t waste your time looking for the extraordinary. Instead, seek and appreciate the marvel and wonder of ordinary life. Find the joy in sunshine, facetiming your mom, undoing your hair from a French braid, the smell of old books, cozy clothes, everything, anything… Fill your heart with the ordinary, and the extraordinary will take care of itself.
