I was going to write a piece for short people to relate to, but we've heard it all before. Here's a shoutout to the taller friends out there because without you we wouldn't be reminded how short we really are. Here are the nine things that the not so gracious tall friend can relate to.
1. Never failing to remind your short friend how short he or she really is.
If it's a girl, you make sure to see she is wearing heels to add, Wow, you're even shorter than I thought! Because what else are taller friends for?
2. Watching your shorter friend's futile efforts to reach the tallest shelf.
It has been ten minutes of your friend standing on tip-toes, but you're not going to offer to help until he/she asks because it's fun to watch that person suffer.
3. Leaning your elbow on your shorter friend's shoulder -- or head.
And hearing your friend's sigh of frustration as you do so. You're lucky if you get away with it.
4. Asking your shorter friend if his or her younger sibling is shorter.
Knowing how good-natured and naive your shorter friend is, that person will most likely tell the truth and say Actually, my younger sibling is taller, to which you reply with a jeering laugh and make them feel worse about their height.
5. Pulling your shorter friend into the crowd with you, making them collide into people's butts.
Also we can't see whatever's happening if you're going to be right in front of us, so let us be the trailblazers please.
6. Realizing your short friend is walking faster to keep up with your seemingly normal pace because they have shorter legs than you.
Your short friend is panting at this point. You walk even faster, even when they yell "Wait up!" from two blocks away. You are sprinting now. You are evil.
7. Making sure to block your shorter friend when taking a group photo, which really isn't difficult.
You're taller -- and also better looking.
8. Not looking down when your shorter friend is mad at you.
It's easy to ignore glares and eye-rolls if you can't see it within your natural field of vision.
9. Feeling great about yourself because your short friend is always looking up to you.
Yes, literally -- but also probably metaphorically.
In all seriousness, to my short homies out there: we may share the hardships of the vertically challenged, but we are strong enough to withstand them. Just because you are short, doesn't mean you have to act short. When you get the opportunity to show that being short does't mean you're any less capable of doing something a taller person can, rise to the occasion. And thanks to all the tall friends, who remind us to stay humble...in their own way.
