9 Things That Happen When you Lose Someone Who's Always Been There

9 Things That Happen When you Lose Someone Who's Always Been There

Whenever we got together we always spent time talking, just the two of us, even if for only a few minutes.

I think we’ve all had at least one person in our life who was just always there. For as long as we can remember, there was a person who seemed to be around you no matter what: birthdays, holidays, vacations, random afternoons. They were always a presence and life just seems complete with them there.

Mine was my great-grandmother. I can’t think of an occasion where she wasn’t a presence in my life. She was there from the moment I was born, on every holiday she was there to provide the family prayer before dinner, and on weekends she would always drop by my house to say hello.

I would never have imagined in a million years that Thanksgiving would be the last time I would see her.

I didn’t think I would lose someone I was close to until last year. I always knew it was a fact of life, but I never thought it would happen to me so soon. I sat at her funeral crying on my boyfriend’s shoulder over a month ago and since then I’ve realized a few things that happen when you lose someone you thought would always be in your life.

You miss the little things.

Whenever I asked her how she was doing she would respond with, “I’m going well for a young old lady.” She was wildly funny and would make jokes about everything. I think fondly of the days I spent at her house as a child with my siblings when we played board games and played with the endless little toys she had as keepsakes.

You smile at things that make you remember them.

Things like her beautiful singing voice, her surprisingly hot temper, her crisp red nails, and the way she was content to see anything artistic I would do put smiles on my face at random times throughout the day.

You cry at things that make you remember them.

It really hit me that she was gone during Christmas dinner. Whenever we had dinners at my house she was always sitting at the table to my right. It felt like something was wrong that day. I kept waiting for her to come through the door. Of course, she never did.

You remember what they taught you.

My great grandmother taught me a lot of things over the years. She was one of the people who instilled in me my love for music. Whenever I sit in my car, I think the summer she spent teaching me how to drive when I was 18 and how happy she was when I got my license that August. She taught me to love myself, that it was okay to be sensitive, and many more things that I will always keep with me.

You hope that they’re in a better place.

She’d always had a lot of health problems, from diabetes to arthritis. She suffered from cancer for a long time before it finally took her away. I like to imagine that wherever she is, she’s feeling better, she’s able to move without pain, and she’s singing her heart out again like she always did before she got sick.

You have regrets.

I regret not calling her more. I regret not having one more conversation with her on that Thanksgiving before she left us. I regret not spending more time with her as a child. I regret not listening to her tell me another story that I’ve already heard a million times. I regret not sitting down on the couch with her one last time and telling her about what I’ve been doing lately.

You tell yourself that you have no reason to regret.

As I have these regrets, I have to remind myself that there is no reason to. I did all that I could. I spent as much time with her as I was meant to. Most people don’t have the privilege of having their great grandmother around for 21 years of their life. I’m lucky that I had the time with her that I did.

You wish they could be there for your future.

I wish she could be here to see what happens to me next. She wanted to see me graduate college. She was excited that I’m a fitness instructor and I’m sure she’d want to see where I’ll go with it. She loved my boyfriend and I wish she would be here to see us get married. She would say we should have 12 kids and while that’s definitely not happening, I wish she could be here to see at least one of them.

You miss your special conversations.

Whenever we got together we always spent time talking, just the two of us, even if for only a few minutes. We told each other our fears and doubts or what was going on in the family at the time and how we felt about it. No matter what always made it a point to tell me that I was her first great grandchild and that made me her number one. “You’re very special to me,” she would say. “I love you so much.”

Cover Image Credit: Jessica Ricks

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8 Things I Have Not Thanked My Best Friend Forever For In, Well, Forever

Thank you for always being the best.

1. Being there through it all, even if you're not "physically" there

We can't always be together, but you have never completely "left" me behind and have been there with me through thick and thin and I am so grateful.

2. Being my biggest cheerleader

Thank you for not only being there through the bad, but also celebrating my victories with me. I can always look forward to telling you good news because I know you'll be happy right along with me.

3. Answering my "important" phone calls

Whether it's a "he texted me back!!!" phone call, or an "I found a gray hair, please help!!" phone call, you pick up the phone and hype up with me no matter what.

4. Being selfless, and going above & beyond to make sure I know I'm worthy

This explains itself and I am so grateful for that.

5. Brushing my hair when I don't feel like it

Okay, this probably sounds silly... But it's the greatest struggle to brush my hair and I'm glad you do it for me sometimes!

6. For being there through all of my mini-crises

You already know what I'm talking about here...

7. For talking me out of things

If it wasn't for you talking me out of things, I'd probably have quit my job, be dating a horrible guy, got my eyebrow pierced, etc.

8. Making me a part of your family

I'm too lucky to have you all as my second family.

Cover Image Credit: Personal Photo

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15 Things You'll Totally Get If You Grew Up With An Italian Family


1. The three-hour goodbye.

When you're with your family, the goodbyes take YEARS. No one knows why, it just happens. It takes my nonna a total of 5 minutes to say goodbye via phone... and when in person, patience is definitely a virtue. (Love you, Nonna Tina!)

2. Sunday dinners.

Classic. There's nothing better than Sunday dinners. A time when everyone sits down and gets to eat together- the more family, the better.

3. Gravy isn't what you eat at Thanksgiving dinner...

Yup, you read that right. Gravy is red, and don't you dare call it "sauce."

4. Knowing to NOT go to Nonna's if you aren't hungry.

Don't even attempt to say no to Nonna. In the end, you're going to be forced to eat anyway, so you may as well fast your day away.

5. Bread comes with every meal.

Somehow there's always bread on the table- whether it be a loaf of Italian or some garlic bread, it's there.

6. If a pot of pasta isn't on the stove, something's wrong.

When aren't Italian families cooking? The answer is never.

7. Red wine, lots of it.

Bottles on bottles on bottles. My mom can't remember a time, starting with her childhood, when there wasn't a bottle of red on the table at dinner time.

8. If somebody can't make it to dinner, no worries. A plate of leftovers is coming their way.

Nothing is better than leftovers, and on the plus side, you get a little bit of everything. And by a little, I mean a lot.

9. No matter how hard you try, chicken cutlets always taste better if Nonna's the one cooking them.

Something about those chicken cutlets...

10. Panettone always makes its way onto the table.

What on earth is Panettone? If you know, you know.

11. When you're full, but dessert comes out... "Eh, why not?"

But the biscottis… you can't say no. And if you do, you soon regret it.

12. It's impossible to diet...

Don't even try it.

13. Fresh tomatoes from the garden, of course.

And that's what makes the gravy so, so tasty.

14. No Italian-American restaurants compare to your Nonna's cooking.

Yes, there are some authentic restaurants that have the finest of all Italian dishes, but when you eat something made in your nonna's kitchen, nothing compares.

15. Everybody's talking with their hands.

Non-verbals are KEY.

Cover Image Credit: pexels

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