9 Things That Happen When you Lose Someone Who's Always Been There

9 Things That Happen When you Lose Someone Who's Always Been There

Whenever we got together we always spent time talking, just the two of us, even if for only a few minutes.

I think we’ve all had at least one person in our life who was just always there. For as long as we can remember, there was a person who seemed to be around you no matter what: birthdays, holidays, vacations, random afternoons. They were always a presence and life just seems complete with them there.

Mine was my great-grandmother. I can’t think of an occasion where she wasn’t a presence in my life. She was there from the moment I was born, on every holiday she was there to provide the family prayer before dinner, and on weekends she would always drop by my house to say hello.

I would never have imagined in a million years that Thanksgiving would be the last time I would see her.

I didn’t think I would lose someone I was close to until last year. I always knew it was a fact of life, but I never thought it would happen to me so soon. I sat at her funeral crying on my boyfriend’s shoulder over a month ago and since then I’ve realized a few things that happen when you lose someone you thought would always be in your life.

You miss the little things.

Whenever I asked her how she was doing she would respond with, “I’m going well for a young old lady.” She was wildly funny and would make jokes about everything. I think fondly of the days I spent at her house as a child with my siblings when we played board games and played with the endless little toys she had as keepsakes.

You smile at things that make you remember them.

Things like her beautiful singing voice, her surprisingly hot temper, her crisp red nails, and the way she was content to see anything artistic I would do put smiles on my face at random times throughout the day.

You cry at things that make you remember them.

It really hit me that she was gone during Christmas dinner. Whenever we had dinners at my house she was always sitting at the table to my right. It felt like something was wrong that day. I kept waiting for her to come through the door. Of course, she never did.

You remember what they taught you.

My great grandmother taught me a lot of things over the years. She was one of the people who instilled in me my love for music. Whenever I sit in my car, I think the summer she spent teaching me how to drive when I was 18 and how happy she was when I got my license that August. She taught me to love myself, that it was okay to be sensitive, and many more things that I will always keep with me.

You hope that they’re in a better place.

She’d always had a lot of health problems, from diabetes to arthritis. She suffered from cancer for a long time before it finally took her away. I like to imagine that wherever she is, she’s feeling better, she’s able to move without pain, and she’s singing her heart out again like she always did before she got sick.

You have regrets.

I regret not calling her more. I regret not having one more conversation with her on that Thanksgiving before she left us. I regret not spending more time with her as a child. I regret not listening to her tell me another story that I’ve already heard a million times. I regret not sitting down on the couch with her one last time and telling her about what I’ve been doing lately.

You tell yourself that you have no reason to regret.

As I have these regrets, I have to remind myself that there is no reason to. I did all that I could. I spent as much time with her as I was meant to. Most people don’t have the privilege of having their great grandmother around for 21 years of their life. I’m lucky that I had the time with her that I did.

You wish they could be there for your future.

I wish she could be here to see what happens to me next. She wanted to see me graduate college. She was excited that I’m a fitness instructor and I’m sure she’d want to see where I’ll go with it. She loved my boyfriend and I wish she would be here to see us get married. She would say we should have 12 kids and while that’s definitely not happening, I wish she could be here to see at least one of them.

You miss your special conversations.

Whenever we got together we always spent time talking, just the two of us, even if for only a few minutes. We told each other our fears and doubts or what was going on in the family at the time and how we felt about it. No matter what always made it a point to tell me that I was her first great grandchild and that made me her number one. “You’re very special to me,” she would say. “I love you so much.”

Cover Image Credit: Jessica Ricks

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You Will Always Need Your Grandma

They Are Some Of The Greatest Human Beings You Will Ever Know

Always is no exaggeration, you'll always need your grandma.

"A grandmother is a remarkable woman. She's a wonderful combination of warmth and kindness, laughter and love. She overlooks our faults, encourages our dreams, and praises our every success."- Author Unknown

They Are Your Biggest Fans:

Maybe even beating out your parents for that title...grandmas are truly your number one fans. From tennis matches, to softball and volleyball games, to the countless dance recitals and competitions, it always made my heart smile to look out from the stage or the court and see my grandma sitting there. She didn't have to be there sitting on uncomfortable bleachers, she wanted to be, and it always meant the world to me; even if I didn't express it at the time.

They Are The Greatest Porch Swing Companions:

One of my favorite and greatest memories of growing up is sitting on the front porch swing with my grandma. From the time when my feet didn't quite touch the ground sitting in the swing and hers did, to my feet touching the ground and her legs getting just a little bit shorter. All of the years in between provided some of the best advice, and were some of the many moments I wish that I could have recorded. There were less hours on the swing as I got older and busier, but I always know exactly where to go if I ever need to. Moving away for college, I realize just how much I miss being eight or nine sitting on the front porch swinging and talking for hours.

The Wisdom:

Only one of the many many things they have to offer you. They are full of so many stories, life lessons, and possible answers to your problems. You learn to appreciate the wisdom more and more as you get older. You realize that just as you are getting older, they are too. I recently bought a journal called My Grandma In Her Own Words. Inside the pages are questions to ask your grandma such as, "What is your earliest childhood memory?" I can't wait to spend the whole summer filling it.

Are They Not The Cutest:

I say this at least twice a week...she is the cutest human being alive. Their style, to the fabulous music they listen to, to everything in between. My grandma walked at least 16 miles in Washington D.C. in loafers and the cutest vest/scarf combo I've ever seen... that woman, let me tell ya. On a serious note, whenever I'm told I look a little bit like my grandma, I LOVE it. I take pride in the fact that someone sees a little bit of her in me, because she is gorgeous.

You Have No Idea How To Live Without Them:

Quite simply, they are one of the most influential women in your life. From being little, to being a newly minted adult, I still call my grandma almost everyday; sometimes just to hear her voice. They are some of the greatest human beings you will ever know. They make you a better person, all while showing you an unconditional love that only they can.

All the love in the world for you, sweet woman.

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Having Grandparents Like Mine Is Nothing Short Of A Gift From Above

Definiton of grandparents: wisdom.

I am a "grandparents" girl. People always say "I'm a daddy's girl" or "I am a momma's girl," and while I can be both of those as well, I am forever and always a grandparents' girl. I am so blessed to have rocking grandparents on both sides of my family, and I cherish special advice, words of wisdom, and memories from each.

Grandparents are such a such a special, unique gift, and, while it is possible I may be slightly bias, I think I have some pretty great ones. Spending a lot of time with grandparents as a little girl, I don't think I truly appreciated what all they do until I got to be older. Now that I'm away at college, I miss the times where I would sit on the counter to "help" my grandmother cook or my grandparents and I would make those after school ice cream pit stops, despite my mom's "healthy snacks" rule.

However, as you get older, you learn that grandparents give sound, awesome advice. No matter what problem I may have or what struggle I may be going through, they have most likely been through it and are always willing to give me the best words of wisdom.

Thats what grandparents are- wisdom. They spoil us, love us, nurture us, and most importantly they play such a crucial role in shaping the people we turn out to be.

Grandparents also lend out tremendous amounts of support. Whether it be a tennis match, awards day, or horse show, I could always count to see at least 1/4 of my grandparent squad cheering me on.

Grandparents are also love. Not only do they love us and say that they love us- they show how much they love us through their kind, gracious, selfless ways.

I am forever thankful for all of my grandparents, the lessons they have taught me, the memories we have made, and the huge impacts they have made and continue to make in my life. Grandparents are the bomb!

Cover Image Credit: Mackenzie Jackson

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