Several years ago, I came across this blog post, chronicling "Allie's Rules for High School." As a recent high school graduate, I felt like I have been asked a dozen times in the last few months about what advice I would give to incoming high school girls. Here's a fairly comprehensive summary of nine things I think every high school girl should know. I'd encourage every incoming freshman to read this!
1. Make you grades a priority. I know that sounds lame, and it may make me a nerd, but I speak from experience -- if you spend the first three years of high school working hard, it'll make your last one a lot more fun. I know plenty of kids who just did "okay" for four years, and then got a rude awakening when they started applying for colleges or taking the ACT/SATs. It may not always seem like it, but your teachers really are trying hard to prepare you. They wouldn't spend 96 percent of their time hanging out with 14-18-year-olds if they didn't feel called to education. At least try to listen to them, learn, and work hard. What you do with the knowledge is your choice, but with knowledge comes a degree and with a degree, comes options.
2. Your mental health is most important. I am a living testament to the fact that high school takes a toll. While I definitely advocate working hard, there is always a need to take a break. If it means scheduling in time for hanging out with your friends, or just leaving a worksheet to be finished in the morning, it's worth it. I am a highly productive person, and plenty of minor assignments I turned in senior year were done the morning of. I don't recommend doing it all the time, but sometimes you need to cut yourself some slack. If nobody else in the next four years tells you this, let me be that person -- take a break.
3. Your parents are right more often than not. I know, I know. That's not what anyone wants to hear. Consider that your parents have lived a lot more life than you have. They've done the high school thing already. They're likely trying very hard to mold you into a respectful, successful adult. Listen to them. This isn't to say your parents will never be wrong (they are human, after all) but nine times out of ten, the odds are they'll be right. Mom and Dad, if you're reading this ... you're welcome.
4. Find an adult that you can trust. But sometimes, you don't always feel like you can talk to your parents. Because they want the best for you, it is my personal opinion that they sometimes have a hard time listening to you objectively. My advice here is to find another adult who you respect and trust and let them be your step-in parent. For me, that adult was one of my favorite teachers. I always knew I could go to her for advice without being judged, and she let me complain about anything and everything. I suggest that every girl finds an adult like this, whether it be a teacher, a coach, your BFF's mom, or a family friend. If you feel uncomfortable or awkward going to your parents about something, go to them instead.
5. Growth means change. One of the biggest things I learned in high school was that growing up meant changing. That may sound simple, but when you have the same friends for all your life, it's sometimes hard to accept that relationships in your life have grown apart. Look at your Timehop from seventh grade and tell me your social media presence hasn't improved since you were eleven and in love with One Direction. This isn't to say every girl should pull a Sandy Olsson and change everything about themselves, but you need to learn to accept change. In high school, it's inevitable -- you take different classes each year, teachers retire or move schools, and your upperclassmen friends will graduate. Change isn't always easy, but becoming an adult (or at least, growing up some) means you won't look exactly the same when you walk the stage at the end of your senior year as you do now. That's okay. It's healthy.
6. Even if you're not feeling it, go to church on Wednesday night. Your church home is your community. Having a night in the middle of the week where you can't work on homework until later (or Netflix binge "One Tree Hill") is annoying, but I've found that it personally helps me to slow down. Being with my church friends means I get to just break for a moment and focus on how amazing my God is. Besides, you'll need Him more than you know. If you're stressed or tired, go to church and give it God. He can handle it. Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
7. Get involved! Personally, I remember very few afternoons when I had absolutely nothing to do. The last four years of my life have been completely packed: rehearsals, guard practice, NHS meetings, drama club meetings, working on the yearbook, running an errand for band or theatre, etc. Although I was involved in a ton of things, it only takes one activity, club, or team to keep you pretty busy. Cons of being involved in something: you may have to give up a few hours a week of catching up on TV. Pros of being involved in something: it teaches you time management, you have built-in friends, you have something to put on your letter jacket, it keeps you from being bored, it looks good on your college applications ... the list goes on. Find an activity, and commit to it. It'll be worth the effort.
8. Don't judge other people. Allie had a good point with this one. In high school, you will inevitably meet many people who do not agree with your belief system or values. However, it is not your job to try and preach to them or make them see things your way. Show everyone love -- not just the people you like or the popular kids, but everyone. There is a difference between disagreeing and judging. Judging will make you look stuck-up and hostile. It's not fair and it's not right. Just don't do it.
9. Stick to your values. On that note, there will be a lot of change in high school. People may try to convince you that you're wrong or that their way is easier or more fun. Don't let them talk you into making a mistake that you'll regret. Don't cheat on your tests, don't go out and drink at parties, and definitely don't date boys with bad reputations. If you follow simple rules, most adults will trust you with much bigger things as you get older. Your parents will likely give you more freedom, and your teachers will think highly of you (which pays off in college recommendation letters). Most importantly, you'll be able to be proud of yourself for sticking to your guns and not making dumb mistakes.
