When someone asks an English major what his or her major is, you can see us all cringe a little. We know that the answer we will give will be met with at least one of these nine things.
1.“So, you’re going to teach?” There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a teacher. My grandmother did it for 40 years, and some of my favorite people in the world have been my teachers. Yes, part of my plan sometimes includes becoming a teacher and other times it doesn’t. It’s frustrating to have that be the first question to come out of someone’s mouth when you’re dedicating four years of your life to learn another career. English majors CAN find jobs in other areas despite popular belief.
2.“Hey, you’re an English major, right? Did I put this comma in the right place?” Most of us are just as confused by the English language as you are. Do I know where the comma goes? Sometimes. However, most of the time I just Google it. You should too. I’m trying to become a writer, not the comma police. Even though a job as the comma police does sound like a good time.
3.“You know English majors never find jobs after college, right?” Oh, really? You are only the 1000th person to tell me that. Here is the way I see my English degree: writing and reading make me very happy, and I have been told that I am not terrible at it. If I have enough passion and enough experience someone will hire me. Or maybe I’ll write a book that all of you who doubted me will be reading someday. The truth is that I am doing what makes me happy. I refuse to get a degree in something that I don’t enjoy in order to ensure I am 95 percent certain to get a job. I am taking a risk by getting an English degree, and guess what I’m still happy about it.
4.“Oh, you’re an English major? I hate English.” You do? That’s cool. I don’t understand why people find this necessary to say. When someone says “I’m an Education major,” nobody says, “Oh, I hate teaching!” When a math major tells me their major do I say, “Oh man. Math is the worst!” No, I do not. Do I hate math? Absolutely! Does the math major give a crap that I hate math? Absolutely not. I don’t care that you hate English! This is my degree not yours!
5.“How do you spell (insert word here)?” What do I look like to you? A walking dictionary? I do not know how to spell that ridiculously long word. The truth is, even as English majors, we rely heavily on auto correct and spell checkers. Without them my papers would look like a 5 year old wrote them. I am not a great speller, but I will be adding “Walking Dictionary” to my list of lifetime goals.
6.“So, you like to read and write like for fun?” You betcha’! When I am asked to list my likes and hobbies reading and writing are usually at the top of the list. Contrary to popular belief, reading for fun is not an unusual occurrence. It’s not only us English majors who read for fun. Ask around your campus or at your job. You’ll find more readers and writers than you think.
7.“WHY would you WANT to be an English major? Well, because I was good at English and I thoroughly enjoyed it so I decided I would make a life out of it. WHY would you WANT to be an engineer? See how stupid your question sounds, now? Stop asking me stupid questions; I’m trying to write.
8.“You actually like English?” This is one of the more frustrating ones. I don’t know if people are so used to students picking majors for money that they’re surprised when someone picks something because the love it or if they’re just baffled by the thought that someone other than their English professor could like English. Yes, I do actually like English. As a matter of fact, it is one of the most enjoyable parts of my days. I know that blows you away, but it is the truth.
9.“Who is your favorite author?” The only reason we hate this question is because most of us can’t answer it. When someone asks me this all I want to say is, “How much time do you have?” I love so many books and so many authors. Give me a few years and I’ll try to come up with a better answer for that one.
