So a few months ago, I read an article someone shared on my newsfeed from Total Sorority Move. It was an article entitled “9 Questions Girls in Small National Sororities are Tired of Hearing,” and the article rubbed me the wrong way from the first paragraph or so. First, the writer sorted each of the 26 NPC sororities into “tiers” based on popularity and how well-known they were, and prided herself in being part of “the rest of us” who knew the symbols and names of the “smallest of the small,” which included my own–for now nameless–sorority. She then proceeded to list her nine questions she was tired of hearing, all with a highly negative attitude and language that should in no way be used while representing her sorority.
And her questions weren't terrible. I've actually received some of them, and I do not get tired of hearing them. I know my sorority isn't well-known, but I also acknowledge that being at a smaller school, I have an entirely different experience with Greek life as a whole!
Finally, I decided I'm going to review her questions that she's “sick of hearing.” I'll give my own input on some of these questions (which, by the way, the article should've just said things instead of questions, some of these aren't questions).
1. “Oh, I've never heard of that sorority.”
Yes, this one can be quite frustrating. As someone who has many special interests and as someone who comes from a smaller school, it's always frustrating when someone has no clue what you're talking about. However, I've learned to take a moment and use this as a chance to share your interest or share information about your sorority. I love telling people about my sorority, and I love telling people about our philanthropy, even if they've never even heard of us. Yes, the statement can come off as rude, but we also have to consider that people do not mean to be rude. They're being honest, so instead of shutting them down with a “f*ck you,” why not share your passion?
2. “We don't have that sorority at my school.”
Again, people say things to keep a conversation going. Remember that not every school is going to have every chapter of every sorority. There are even some schools I know of that don't have bigger sororities such as Zeta Tau Alpha or Alpha Delta Pi. My school only has six NPC chapters, so I love hearing about people's experiences in a chapter outside of the six that Brenau has. I have no cruel intentions when I say “we don't have that sorority,” and neither do most people that say this! Again, it's an opportunity to share your passion for your sisterhood and your philanthropy.
3. “Is that a service sorority?”
There are many non-Greek organizations that take on Greek letters, such as honors fraternities and service sororities. Some people who are outside of Greek life as a whole may not know which organizations are NPC organizations or honors organizations. There's nothing wrong with having to clarify again that you are a member of the National Panhellenic Council, and not a part of a service sorority. Also, no, this doesn't mean your sorority is any less real. To me, service sororities and honors fraternities are still just as important as NPC sororities. You are a representative of an organization that provides opportunities for leadership and service. There is no reason to bash honors fraternities or service sororities.
4. “Why didn't you rush a bigger chapter like Zeta or DG?”
I don't know how you even get this question, this is something I've never heard. But, I did have a different experience rushing at a smaller school. Yes, you are right, you go through recruitment to find your sisterhood and to find your home away from home, but that is no reason to bash on the bigger chapters because “they were sh*t at [your] school.” There was absolutely no reason for you to be so rude.
5. “You're not going to have as many opportunities post-grad in a small sorority.”
Sororities, regardless of size, provide plenty of opportunities during your collegiate years and even after you graduate. No matter the amount of opportunities they present to you, you can find many opportunities through your sorority. Of course, no boss is going to offer you a job based on your affiliation alone. However, you cannot deny that sororities give us a chance to network and generate job opportunities in your intended field of study. So saying that sororities provide us with opportunities for work and leadership is not just a “bullsh*t line we tell our parents when they're on the edge about us rushing.” It holds a lot of truth.
6. “Oh, I don't think that sorority is good at my school.”
Well, of course not every sorority is perfect. A chapter is no more perfect than its least perfect member, so if a chapter is made up of members who do not represent their letters well, then the impression is shot. However, people do need to take into consideration that Greek life regulations and traditions vary from campus to campus, along with general student attitudes that vary from larger campuses to smaller campuses. I know that Tri Delta is different at Brenau than it is at UGA; that does not mean that Tri Delta is necessarily good or bad at either of those schools! (I happen to love the Tri Deltas at Brenau.) On this point, I do agree with the author of the article in that I joined my sorority based on the sisterhood they made me feel, not the rank of the sorority.
7. “Oh, that sucks that you guys are small. I love running into my sisters from around the world in random places.”
I mean, on a global scale, no chapter is truly small. In numbers, my chapter may be a small chapter, but I still have thousands of sisters that I love and adore and run into in the strangest of places. I joke all the time that there aren't many sisters of my sorority that live in my hometown, but even so, I still run into a sister or two while I'm at work or out on the town. So okay, this is another point in which I will agree with the original author of the article.
8. “You totally could've gotten into a bigger chapter.”
Who has the author of this article been talking to that has said these things? When people say something such as “you could have gotten into any sorority you wanted,” they have to know that we did. We did get into the organization that we wanted. However, I have never heard anyone tell me that I could have gotten into any chapter I wanted to get into, because anyone I talk to knows that my sisters are my home and that I belong there. Most people don't question why someone ended up in the chapter they are in, because as much as we choose our chapter, our chapter chooses us. Not one person since I've joined my sorority has doubted my membership in that sisterhood. If you represent your sorority in the best way you can, then no one will ever question your place in your sisterhood or your faith in your sisters.
9. “Do you ever wish you were in a different sorority?”
Once upon a time, yes, I did. Some of us go through recruitment with the chapter we want as the one and only chapter that matters. For some of us, we get that chapter and it works out for us and we love it as much as we thought we would. For others, like me, we get into a chapter that may not have been the one we wanted at first, but they loved us from day one and made us feel the most at home and welcomed us in with open arms. Sure, at times in the past, I think about what would have been had I ended up in my first choice chapter. But then I look at all my sisters, I look at everything I've contributed to my chapter and what my chapter has done for me, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Yes, it becomes infuriating to hear these questions and statements regularly, but that doesn't make me angry at the askers. I know I love my dear sorority, and I don't need to defend my love with an aggressive, attacking attitude and foul language, both of which give sorority girls a bad name and further cause a divide in the Panhellenic community. It is time we stop attacking people for their questions and comments, and instead take them as opportunities to educate and grow.
