A common question I hear from men of all ages is, "Why does it take women so long to get ready?" I mean sure, anyone can jump in the shower, throw on clothes and go. But us girls take pride in our craft and believe me the finished product is an art.
So here are nine steps to getting ready for a night out:
1. Music, music, music.
If you're like me, music helps set your mood. My playlist is based on the type of night I plan to have. For example, if bae and I are heading out to dinner, I'll play some 90's R&B throwback filled with love lyrics. If it's a night out with the girls, I'll play some squad hits such as Destiny's Child's "Independent Pt.1" or Spice Girls' "Wannabe." Either way, music is being blasted and I'm singing at the top of my lungs.
2. Bathroom...
I'm the type of girl that hates going out feeling bloated and full. I just can't dance or drink with a belly full of kung pao chicken. So, needless to say, a healthy bowel movement starts my night off five pounds lighter!
3. Shower strategically AF.
Now, this ain't no "let me run this bar of soap across my body" shower. There are steps to my shower routine:
1. Wash/Exfoliate face with washcloth A
2. Lather lady parts first with unscented bar of soap and washcloth B
3. Rinse
4. Lather rest of body with a scented body wash and Sponge Pouf (it's like shower perfume)
5. Rinse
6. Shave... EVERYTHING
7. Pumice the feet with exfoliator
8. Rinse
All in all, the shower takes anywhere from 30-45 minutes, and that's if I don't deep condition my hair.
4. Air dry and scroll...
This is a perfect time to spread out on my bed and let the air do its thing. In the mean time, I can scroll through social media and text "what you wearing?" to the squad. This usually takes 15 minutes.
5. Moisturize, ladies!
Time to lock in that moisture with oils and lotion. First, I will use a generic baby lotion. Then I'll go over with my bottle of crack also known as Body Boost by Pure Romance. It's a skin tightening cream to help with those cellulite problem areas. Lastly, I'll spray my favorite dry oil, Body Dew by Pure Romance, to add that nice glowy finish. I love this oil because it's light and won't rub off on your clothes or the door knob.
6. Make-up is key.
This is where I focus and turn into Picasso. Time to beat my face with my brushes and create a master piece. This process takes around 30 minutes with an extra 10 minutes for baking. According to Cosmo, baking is key and "has been used in the drag community for years, refers to letting translucent powder sit on your face for five to 10 minutes, which allows the heat from your face to set your base foundation and concealer, and then dusting it off your face, leaving you with a creaseless, flawless finish."
7. Your hair has to be 10/10, duh.
For me, hair is usually the easiest step. Nine times out of 10 my hair is already done. Whether it's braids, faux locs, wigs or natural, my hair is simple. Unfortunately, lots of girls can't say the same.
8. Your outfit is crucial.
You would think through out this whole 'getting ready' process I would have an outfit in mind or be thinking about one. NOPE! So time to destroy my closet and trash my room looking for an outfit that's cute, flattery, moveable and will make my butt look nice. This takes 15 minutes, as well.
9. Selfies and snapchats, for days...
Damn, I look good! Time to take hella pics and post them all over social media. Sorry for flooding your timeline or making my snap story 120 seconds long... NOT SORRY!
I hope these steps gave you insight into a woman's nighttime transformation. Every step is essential to the finished product and each task must be perfected to achieve the end goal. So please, don't rush us... these things take time.
