Like the mom friend, every group has the DND (Do NOT Drive). You get in their car and quiver in fear, hoping to make it to your destination safely. It may be their road rage, or it may be their lack of knowledge of what a turn signal is. If you don't know which one of your friends it is, it's you. If you still don't know, check out this list.
1) You've used the phrase "But did you die?" one too many times
When your friends start to complain about your driving, your go-to response is "But did you die?" When they inevitably continue with the next objection, a swift "But did you die?" will silence them.
2) There are quite a few stories that start with "Remember the time I rode with you and..."
"You got a ticket?" "You stalled the car out in that intersection?" "We almost hit that 18-wheeler?" Yeah, but see number 1.
3) You've blamed it on your car more than you care to admit
I need to have an alignment. I need new tires. The vent had condensation on it that blew into my eye and temporarily blinded me.
4) Your friends rest their feet on your dashboard
This is actually to pretend they have some control over their lives like being able to push back when you get way too close to the car in front of you.
5) Your friends volunteer to take their car
Gas money isn't cheap, so it's saying something when someone always volunteers to take their car. But your life is worth more than gas prices so can you blame them?
6) You apologize to everything
You hit the trashcan, the mailbox, some kid's tricycle, the garage door, the neighbor's cat, one of the yellow things at the mall, and two fire hydrants. But if you apologize, it doesn't count, right? Sorry!
7) If you didn't see it, it didn't happen
Did you just cause a 7-car pile-up on the interstate, or was that a stray cat? Um... We'll go with the cat.
8) You have been pulled over under suspicion of drunk driving
You had to explain to the cop that you're just a really bad driver. Yes, this really happens.
9) People always wonder how long you've been driving
Is this your first week? You're a little old for... oh. You got your license four years ago? Ok...
