It's a common misconception to see the concept of introversion/extroversion in black and white. In truth, these traits form a spectrum in which someone may lean toward one side or the other. Ambiverts, however, lie in the middle. They appear to be social butterflies one day, talking to almost everyone with an energetic excitement. Other days they will happily be curled up in solitude, as if to "recharge" from the stresses of socializing. Having an almost fickle personality can become confusing; the dissonance of your personality can be hard for even you to understand, let alone those around you. If you're an ambivert like me, then the most effective way to understand yourself is to accept your ambivert traits.
Here are some signs you're an ambivert:
1. Social balance
You love spending a night hanging out with a bunch of friends but you also love spending the night alone possibly reading a good book in your bed.
2. Adaptable
Your friends see you as the loquacious and energetic socialite. On the other hand, peers or people you've intentionally kept at a distance see you as quiet, shy, or even awkward. Professional roles display you as the perfect mixture of both. Depending on the situation, you'll change yourself to meet your needs, oftentimes in order for your behavior to work to your advantage.
3. Indecisiveness
Should I go to that party today or do I want to just stay in bed watching Netflix? Do I really want to go explore the city or would I rather just sit home and explore some music?
4. Frustration
If you find yourself socializing more than normal, being too expressive about your emotions, and overall being too extroverted for too long, then you feel burnt out. At this point, being an extrovert becomes a stressful and demanding role you're playing. On the other hand, if you find yourself in too much solitude without interaction from different people, then oftentimes you feel bored, perhaps even a little depressed.
5. Fear of disappointing
You say yes to a friend to grab coffee later this week. The day rolls around and you feel extremely introverted; it's not that introverted people are uninteresting, but you, as an ambivert, needed that time to recharge since all your social skills have been drained and you simply can't be interesting or entertaining without your social charge.
6. Other people are unsure of your true persona
One day you're the life of the party and saying yes to every future plan. The next day, you're canceling all those plans resulting in people being perplexed with the sudden shift in your personality. It doesn't help that you've failed to make a good excuse.
7. Emotional gaps
Communicating your emotions is tricky because sometimes you want to explode and genuinely express your feelings. Other days you keep everything inside and remain nuanced about what you're feeling.
8. Communication
You'll find yourself talking ceaselessly about a topic you're passionate about. Then, you'll find yourself completely silent when the conversation shift to something you aren't so interested in. Also, small talk is literally the worst thing in the world.
9. Intuition
You're really good at catching onto how someone is feeling and reacting appropriately. You understand both introverts and extroverts and therefore often make the right judgements about their intentions and behavior.
Ambivert celebrities include:
Jennifer Lawrence
Zooey Deschanel
Anna Kendrick
Although it's puzzling to be an ambivert (even to us ambiverts ourselves) the best part is balance. After learning to accept and understand ourselves, we become emotionally balanced; we learn how much to express and when. We can engage in small talk even if it feels plastic to our inner selves. Eventually we learn to deal with our indecisiveness by listening to our inner energies for that day. We become experts at dealing with people located at different points on the introvert/extrovert spectrum--whether that's being more extroverted around our introverted friends, and vice versa. We ambiverts, in turn have the potential to make all kinds of people feel comfortable with us.
The ambivert personality type has often been described to be "bilingual." Although initially our personality can seem baffling and hopeless, in reality it is our best trait.
