You are lying in bed with your partner. No words are said, but you can feel the spark between you dying. When you try to converse, you are met with one word answers while he continues to scroll on his phone. It’s been like this for days. Outside of work, he’s with you most of the day. You are sure there is no way he’s cheating… Or is he?

When you are in a committed relationship with someone, you are mutually devoting yourself both physically and mentally with your partner. Your partner is emotionally cheating on you when they are physically with you, but their mind and heart are with someone else. It’s subtle, but the signs are there when you notice these things.

1. Your partner starts to mention the other person repeatedly.

It’s one thing for your partner to recount their day and tell you about something funny their coworker said. It’s another for them to be able to tell you personal things about said coworker than you think is appropriate. When a person is emotionally invested in someone, those feelings begin to show through how often they come up in conversation. It might not always just be your partner talking about that person. You could be asking your partner a question, and they bring up what that person thinks about that topic.

2. Your partner’s interest in social media suddenly increases.

If your partner is spending more time playing on their phone than talking with you while you’re spending time together, then you are probably not on their mind right now. A major red flag would be if your partner was not much of a social media fan in the first place.

3. Your partner seems to be disconnected and the level of intimacy in your relationship has changed.

When your partner stops talking to you about things they normally wouldn’t shut up about, it’s a sign they’re getting that emotional support elsewhere.

4. Your partner checks out during sex.

There’s no eye contact, things are being rushed, and you get no satisfaction out of it. Everything is just… weird. Sex is another form of intimacy that can be considered sacred in a relationship, hence the big deal over physical cheating. If your partner isn’t paying attention to you during a time where you are supposed to be their center of attention, chances are their mind is with someone else.

5. Your partner starts acting defensive.

Wanting a little privacy is normal. Getting angry the second someone asks you what your plans are is something else. Instantly going on the defense is a telltale sign of something going on. Another thing to look out for is your partner putting up their defense out of nowhere. They might explain their actions without you asking or give too much detail about something that you wouldn’t have evened questioned if they didn’t bring it up.

6. Their attitude towards you has changed.

One day, you get nothing but hugs and compliments. The next day, everything you do is wrong. Things that your partner used to not care about is all of a sudden their biggest pet peeve in the world. If they start comparing you to another person, well...

7. Their opinions about an argument you’ve been having has changed.

If you have an been in disagreement about an issue with your partner for a while, and all of a sudden they bring up something completely different than they have been saying, it might be a sign that your partner is sharing your relationship issues with someone else.

8. They start acting out of character.

They start dressing to impress and start taking extra time to do their hair or makeup. Out of nowhere, they have an affinity for baking for other people. Birthdays are now a big deal, and they start getting gifts for a "friend." All of this when just a few weeks ago, they were a sweats and TV dinner type of person that didn’t even realize that their own birthday was coming up. If you can't tell what the sudden inspiration to do these things came from, it might be another person.

9. Your gut tells you something is wrong.

If you’re in a committed relationship, chances are you know your partner like the back of your hand. When your gut starts telling you something is wrong, you might just have to listen and start taking action.