All of us, in one way or another, have encountered a liar. This person can fall under the category of friend, ex, parent, nemesis or yourself. That's right, I said it. You are a liar. I am allowed to say this, because I, too, am a liar. Fortunately enough, most of us pull from the same set of lies when we decide to tell a little white one. Here are the lies we all hear (and tell) regularly:
1. "I floss everyday."
Even the hard-line hygienists have to miss a day every once in awhile, right? This lie goes hand in hand with the "I brush my teeth three times a day or after every meal" lie we tell our friend the dentist every six months.
2. Weight/Height
When a police officer looks at your license, is he really going to be able to tell you are actually 15 pounds heavier or two inches shorter than what you told the DMV? To be more specific, ladies lie about weight, while men lie about their height (even the tall ones).
3."My Mom said I can't."
I know this lie all too well. In retrospect, I realize how horrible it is to throw your mother under the bus when you just don't feel like socializing. The lady made me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every day for 12 years. She didn't deserve that kind of treatment. Sorry, Mom.
4. "I'm five minutes away."
Very similar to the "I just left my house" lie told from your bathroom prior to even brushing your teeth. This lie is pretty obvious to detect. You give the person you are lying to a time increment that can easily be measured.
5. "I was stuck in traffic."
This lie can be categorized with "I stopped at every red light." For those of us who are eternally late, we know these pretty well.
6. "I'd be interested in attending your event/joining your club."
This is frequently spoken after someone on campus hands you a flyer. You act interested and use the noncommittal line "I'll try to make it!" as you walk away.
7. "No, I didn't wear this shirt on Monday."
Don't you hate it when you friends bust you for hamper diving? You know what I'm talking about. You dig through your dirty clothes to find that shirt you wore on Monday. You find said shirt, and then you do what we are all afraid to admit. You see if it can pass the good ol' sniff test.
8."My printer stopped working."
This is the 21st century version of "My dog ate my homework." Thanks to technology, students all over can use this only somewhat credible excuse for not turning in a paper.
9. How often we lie.
We all do it. We all lie, and then we all lie about lying. Most of us would never consider ourselves to be a liar, but that's what makes us all liars.
Oh, and by the way, you don't look fat in that dress... honestly.
