Winter, actual winter, is a very rare occurrence in Arkansas. Each year, we get around one good dusting. Every few years, we get an actual snow. This being said, when winter does finally come to town, Arkansans go just a little bit crazy. This is how:
1. We are forewarned that there will be a blizzard by a meteorologist who may or may not have a clue as to what a blizzard actually is.
It never fails. Our smart phones all begin the annoying chirp of warning: "The national weather service has declared a winter storm warning for the counties of...Craighead, Garland, Pulaski, etc." Of course, then we all check The Weather Channel and Facebook to see exactly what kind of blizzard we should expect.
2. Goodbye, bread and milk.
What can you even make with just bread and milk? Does no one understand that if the power goes out because of a winter storm, the milk will just go bad anyway? Is the South the only geographical location with an obsession with these two grocery items?
3. Your mother texts you, praying for your safety in this tragedy.
She means well, she really does. However, it worries me that she doesn't have the confidence in me that I would not drive my almost 20-year-old Toyota Camry in a blizzard. If we even got a blizzard.
4. You scour social media and the college's website to see if you're going to stay home from school.
Surely, school has seen the forecast. Surely, the school would not endanger the lives of students and faculty by having school when there is a blizzard coming. Why haven't they cancelled class yet?
5. You see a snowflake...and freak out.
First, you have to dress for the cold. Fleece-lined leggings, Uggs, three jackets, a CC Beanie and two pairs of gloves later, you run outside, spin around in circles and stick out your tongue. Don't judge... Snow is a rarity in Arkansas. Selfies are taken, and then retaken because you can't see the snowfall in the background. This is magical.
6. You recheck social media and the college's website to see if they have changed their minds.
And then continue to freak out, as the University has decided to cancel school. No class! No professors! No classmates that you barely tolerate! It's a miracle.
7. You prepare yourself for an amazing day filled with Jeep sledding, snow-tubing and lots of cute snow selfies.
What is Jeep sledding, you may ask? Well, Arkansas doesn't really have mountains, per se (unless you count the Ozarks, but they are smallish and only in certain parts of the state). Therefore, we improvise. One all-wheel drive Jeep (or any vehicle we think can brave the snowpocalypse) + rope + sled + Arkansans willing to bust it = the sweet alternative to skiing.
8. There is not enough snow on the ground for a single snowball, nonetheless the winter extreme sports you and your friends had planned.
That was a total bust. I only get snow once a year. The least the weather could do is actually give us some snow. I didn't even get to make snow ice cream...
9. No reason to waste a snow day pouting. "Grey's Anatomy," here we come!
Another "snowpocalypse" was survived. Time for Netflix and season one reruns! Until next year, winter.
