It's the season of love – or, it's about to be! Here is a foolproof guide of nine things sure to make that someone special feel like the luckiest Valentine Cupid ever saw.

1. Nothing screams love like this pair of handmade boxers.

2. Or, even better, this festive set of love-themed elephant boxers from the same distributor!

However, this pair is $54.99, but the romantic theme is so worth the $0.50!

3. Give the gift that lasts… well, as the website advertises, “forever.”

After all, aren't roaches a universal representation of enduring love? These animals can survive for a week without their head, without air for 30 minutes, without water for a week, and without food for a month.

4. For couples attempting long-distance, there are his and hers pillows to ease the sting of being apart: BODY PILLOWS!

I would recommend that the person manufacturing these takes a second glance at the female form, because I'm not sure what happened here. Nothing screams "romance" like this plush lover in replacement of the real deal, am I right?


There's just something so magical about giving a gift that looks like a dismembered corpse.

5. Although this website is called Man Crates, this gift could go to someone special regardless of gender, so long as meat is their thing.

And, good news: there are two options of Meat Hearts available for purchase! You can choose between the temptation of Love at First Bite and the classic Eat Your Heart Out.


As the website quips, this "classic heart-shaped sub subterfuge of passion and flavor" - which comes with a "custom-printed gift note" - is the perfect gift for a valentine.

6. Get a set of matching, gender-labelled whistles!

You'll never lose each other in a crowd again, plus this option is affordable and so thoughtful! What significant other wouldn't love to receive this?

7. This gift just speaks for itself: "I'm nuts about YOU!"

If the gift recipient is allergic to nuts (like me), it makes for an even more tasteful and ironic present. Oh, humor!

8. As seen on Shark Tank, Potato Pal offers a series of parcels, postcards, and t-shirts for spud lovers to gift one another.

What else sets the mood better than "The Potato Pal," which offers users to send a photo of their face, a friends face, or that of a celebrities', and it will be imprinted on a spud! Romantic.

To be honest, all products on the website have glowing reviews and recommendations, so I'm giving this present genuine thought.

9. SAFE bet this will woo Valentine's nationwide! Get it? It's a "Safe Box," a 4 panel home STD test pack that costs just $189! You can't put a price on being safe, or on convenience.

This semester, give the gift of a lab. It's practical, and we all know how romantic being practical is! As their tagline claims, "SAFE IS SEXY!"