Ah, Eau Claire. Known for its majestic rolling hills, picturesque sunrises, and Bon Iver’s virginity. From its low violent crime rate to its outstanding collection of budget-friendly grocery stores, Eau Claire seems like the perfect place to relocate after retirement. Those retirees could talk about Eau Claire’s assets for years if they wanted to. The nursing homes would finally be what we millennials like to call "lit".
But in a whole different part of Eau Claire – over the river, through the woods, and across the footbridge – lies the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, where the conversations that students have are (almost) always the same. And (surprise!) they have nothing to do with the city’s local grocers. Find yourself a student at UWEC and you’re bound to have a handful of the same conversations one too many times.
Incoming freshmen, start keeping tally now. By the time you actually start school, you won’t have enough wall space in your bedroom to chisel out any more tallies (so it’s a good thing you’ll have all that fresh new cinderblock wall space in your dorm room – don’t worry, your RA won’t mind).
1. “I hate this hill.”
Learn to love it. We aren’t known as the campus with the best legs for nothing.
2. “It’s cold here.”
5th coldest campus in the nation. Google it.
3. “They should really put a cover over the footbridge like they did at CVTC.”
They won’t.
4. “What even is a blugold?”
This is one of those questions that’s kinda like the inevitable one that shows up on every exam you will ever take. Everyone reaches it simultaneously and looks up at each other in confusion. Because no one really knows.
5. “When in doubt, go to Stout. If not there, go to Eau Claire.”
"How original", we sneer as we stand with our shields up and armor ready, preparing to face the Blue Devils in an epic battle of champions. "May the best Northwestern Wisconsin campus win", we say (although what we really mean is, "may the less alcoholic campus win").
6. “I’m from the Twin Cities.”
AKA: I’m actually from Shakopee which is 38 minutes away from the cities, but hey, it’s the closest thing I got.
7. “I’m from Milwaukee.”
AKA: I’m actually from Hustisford which is 57 minutes away from Milwaukee, but hey, it’s still the closest thing I got.
8. “What do you call a delicious carbonated drink?”
Champagne. Jk, it’s soda (obviously).
9. “What’s your ‘and’?”
I don’t even know what that means. All I know is that some guy got paid big money to put the word “and” inside brackets and call it UW-Eau Claire’s slogan. I could have done that [and] I probably would have done it for free. Your loss, Chancellor Jim.
Whether it’s about the hill, the bridge, or anything blue or gold in-between, you will probably have each one of these conversations more times than you’re comfortable with during your time as a blugold (whatever that is) at UW-Eau Claire. But it’s okay, because #mostbeautifulcampus.
