The plight of the Millennial doth know no end. When Romeo proclaimed "O, I am fortune's fool," he didst not even know the halfth of it. Thus, presenteth 8 ways in which thou art literally fortune's fool. Most literally, indeed.

1. When thy true love swipeth left

O, fair and gentle maiden. Why dost thou not even consider my other profile pictures or the fact that we have a mutual interest in decorative soaps? Thy judgement is swift and thy swipe absolute. Alack, such wretched social norms.

2. When thy pumpkins spiceth no more.

When autumn sheds its last leaf, O woeful pumpkin, where goeth thy spice? 'Tis that selfsame spice that thou needst in order to produce thy eternal latte. Fortune looks with disdain upon the deities of Star and Bucks.

3. When thy snapchat be screenshot'd.

Woeful, wretched selfie, glistening ignobly upon the glass! Wherefore dost thou choose to preserve that which embarrasseth me so? A plague on both thy Facebook and thy Instagram! I am sped.

4. When too many miscreants are using thy Netflix account.

Leeches, all of you! Begone with thy roguish House of Cards and thy errant Orange is the New Black. Whilst thou indulgest, I chilleth not.

5. When thy song cometh on the radio but it be a remix.

Such sacrilege! How dare these heathens desecrate the song I hold so dear. O, how I am powerless at the hands of the blasphemous disk jockeys. Fortune, thou art a tease.

6. When thy Ikea purchase hath too many small parts.

Man knoweth no frustration like the selection of the proper screw to go into the darkest depths of Swedish boards. Cursed be the instruction bearing parchment that provideth no help for the common man.

7. When thy neighbors maketh too much noise.

Heinous cacophony! Doth thy party know no end? 'Tis but a few hours ere the rooster's crow. To sleep, perchance to Dream; aye, there's the rub.

8. When thou canst no longer even.

O, to even and even and even without relent. Such blissful joy. How fortune can taketh mine ability to even with such ease.

Now is the winter our discontent, O Millennials. Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer the Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune, or to just post thy grievances on social media, I know not.