8 Times Thou Art Literally Fortune's Fool

8 Times Thou Art Literally Fortune's Fool

Even Hamlet doth not know the pain of being a Millennial
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The plight of the Millennial doth know no end. When Romeo proclaimed "O, I am fortune's fool," he didst not even know the halfth of it. Thus, presenteth 8 ways in which thou art literally fortune's fool. Most literally, indeed.

1. When thy true love swipeth left

O, fair and gentle maiden. Why dost thou not even consider my other profile pictures or the fact that we have a mutual interest in decorative soaps? Thy judgement is swift and thy swipe absolute. Alack, such wretched social norms.

2. When thy pumpkins spiceth no more.

When autumn sheds its last leaf, O woeful pumpkin, where goeth thy spice? 'Tis that selfsame spice that thou needst in order to produce thy eternal latte. Fortune looks with disdain upon the deities of Star and Bucks.

3. When thy snapchat be screenshot'd.

Woeful, wretched selfie, glistening ignobly upon the glass! Wherefore dost thou choose to preserve that which embarrasseth me so? A plague on both thy Facebook and thy Instagram! I am sped.

4. When too many miscreants are using thy Netflix account.

Leeches, all of you! Begone with thy roguish House of Cards and thy errant Orange is the New Black. Whilst thou indulgest, I chilleth not.

5. When thy song cometh on the radio but it be a remix.

Such sacrilege! How dare these heathens desecrate the song I hold so dear. O, how I am powerless at the hands of the blasphemous disk jockeys. Fortune, thou art a tease.

6. When thy Ikea purchase hath too many small parts.

Man knoweth no frustration like the selection of the proper screw to go into the darkest depths of Swedish boards. Cursed be the instruction bearing parchment that provideth no help for the common man.

7. When thy neighbors maketh too much noise.

Heinous cacophony! Doth thy party know no end? 'Tis but a few hours ere the rooster's crow. To sleep, perchance to Dream; aye, there's the rub.

8. When thou canst no longer even.

O, to even and even and even without relent. Such blissful joy. How fortune can taketh mine ability to even with such ease.

Now is the winter our discontent, O Millennials. Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer the Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune, or to just post thy grievances on social media, I know not.

Cover Image Credit: telegraph.co.uk

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9 Eligible Princes You Need To Know About Now That Prince Harry Is Off The Market

You too could have a Meghan Markle fairytale
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Prince Harry's royal wedding is officially over and there won't be another British royal wedding for quite some time now, as Prince George is way too young to start thinking about that. Fortunately, there are plenty of other countries with plenty of other princes that are still eligible bachelors at the moment. Lucky for you, I did my research and compiled a list of all the eligible princes you need to know about know that Prince Harry has tied the knot with Meghan Markle.

1. Prince Louis of Luxembourg (31)

Prince Louis is the third son of the Grand Duke Henri and Duchess Maria Theresa of Luxembourg. He has recently become a bachelor again after his separation with his wife of 10 years, Princess Tessy.

Fun Fact: He graduated from Richmond, The American International University of London with a BA in Communications. He can also speak Luxembourgish (the fact that's even a language is fun fact by itself), French, German, and English fluently.

2. Prince Sebastien of Luxembourg (26)

Prince Sebastien is the youngest child of the Grand Duke Henri and Duchess Maria Theresa of Luxembourg, so if you marry him, you'll probably never actually be queen because he's pretty far removed from the throne. However, he's relatively young and single, so best of luck.

Fun Fact: For some bizarre reason, this prince actually went to college in Ohio. He played rugby and graduated from Franciscan University of Steubenville in 2015. Now, he is back in his home country and is an officer in the Luxembourg Army.

3. Prince Phillipos of Greece and Denmark (34)

You read that correctly, Prince Phillipos is the prince of not one, but two countries. He is the youngest son of King Constantine and Queen Anne Marie of Greece and Denmark. Unfortunately, Greece abolished their monarchy, so he's a prince in name only there.

Fun Fact: Like Prince Sebastien, Prince Phillipos also went to college in the United States. He earned his B.A. in foreign relations from Georgetown University in 2008. Fortunately, for us American girls, he is actually still living in the US and he works in New York City as an analyst at Ortelius Capital.

4. Prince Albert of Thurn and Taxis (34)

Ever heard of Thurn and Taxis? No? Me neither. Anyways, Prince Albert is from the House of Thurn and Taxis, which is essentially a very old German aristocratic family. He is the son of Prince Johannes XI of Thurn and Taxis and Countess Gloria of Schonburg Glauchau. His family is well known for their breweries and castles, so unless you're gluten-free, you can't really complain.

Fun Fact: He's not just a prince. He's also a racecar driver and 10 years ago he was ranked 11th on Forbes Magazine's List of The 20 Hottest Young Royals.

5. Prince Mateen of Brunei (26)

Prince Mateen is basically like all the guys you already know, except he's royalty. He's the prince of Brunei, which is a small country on the island of Borneo, south of Vietnam. He is one of the five sons of Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah, and he also has seven sisters. Maybe that's a little different than the guys you know, but one thing he takes very seriously, just like most frat guys, is his Instagram.

Fun Fact: Mateen enjoys playing polo, flying in his private plane, cuddling cute wild animals, and keeping up his Insta game with 890k followers. You can follow him @tmski.

6. Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum of Dubai (35)

Sheikh Hamdan also has a killer Instagram with 6.3 million followers. Anyways, Sheikh Hamdan is the billionaire crown prince of Dubai and the second son of Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, who is the prime minister of the United Arab Emirates and essentially the king of Dubai (Emir). He's actually next in line for the throne because his older brother died in 2015.

Fun Fact: Hamdan's hobbies include skydiving, zip lining, and diving, just to name a few, so if you're an adrenaline junkie, Sheikh Hamdan is the prince for you.

7. Prince Hussein of Jordan (23)

Prince Hussain is the son of the extremely beautiful, Queen Rania and Abdullah II of Jordan and next in line for the Jordanian throne. At 23, he's already a second lieutenant in the Jordanian Armed Forces and he was the youngest person ever to chair a UN Security Council Meeting


Fun Fact: Like Prince Phillippos, Prince Hussain also graduated from Georgetown University in Washington D.C.. Also, like Prince Mateen and Prince Hamdan, he's Insta famous with 1.3 million followers and you can follow him @alhusseinjo.

8. Prince Constantine-Alexios of Greece and Denmark (19)

Like Prince Phillipos, Prince Constantine-Alexios also has two countries. Lucky for us though, he is also living in the US right now attending Georgetown University in Washington D.C. (like pretty much every other prince, amirite?) He is the oldest son of Crown Princess Marie-Chantal and Crown Prince Pavlos of Greece.

Fun Fact: He's Prince William's godson, so that's pretty neat. However, if that wasn't cool enough, you might like to know that this Greek/Danish prince was actually born in New York. Oh yeah, you can also follow him on Instagram @alexiosgreece where he has 88.7k followers.

9. Prince Joachim of Belgium (26)

Prince Joachim of Belgium, Archduke of Austria-Este is the third child of Lorenz, Archduke of Austria-Este and Princess Astrid of Belgium. Although he bears the title, "Prince of Belgium," he is also Archduke of Austria-Este, Prince Royal of Hungary and Bohemia, and Prince of Modena. Unfortunately, he'll probably never actually be king in any of these countries as he is ninth in line to the Belgian throne.

Fun Fact: Prince Joachim has degrees in economics, management, and finance, but he decided to join the Nautical School in Brugge after completing college and is currently an officer in the Belgian Navy.

Hope is not lost for all you girls dreaming of finding a Prince Charming that's literally a prince. After reviewing the data, my best advice is to transfer to Georgetown where princes are basically around every corner.

Cover Image Credit: @meghantheduchessofsussexstyle/Instagram

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13 Disney Quotes About Life, Laughing, And Inspiration

"Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age, and dreams are forever." --Walt Disney

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If you're anything like me, you love Disney. Here are a few Disney quotes about life and some inspirational quotes that you can learn from the man himself and from the films bearing his name.

1. "Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age, and dreams are forever."

This quote from Walt Disney captures the spirit of his legacy. Everyone can benefit from knowing that laughter, imagination, and the capacity to dream are not just things you leave behind when you're too old to return to Neverland. Sometimes, it's nice to remember that we haven't completely lost those things that made childhood so magical. It's nice to know that some things can be forever.

2. "Life is not a spectator sport."

Laverne, a gargoyle from "The Hunchback of Notre Dame," taught us and Quasimodo that if we sit around waiting for something extraordinary to happen, we just might watch our whole life go by without us. Isn't it refreshing to know that life doesn't have to be something that just happens to us? We can actually get out and seek adventure or happiness or love, if we really want to.

3. "The Past can hurt, but the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it."

I know a lot of people walk away from "The Lion King' with "Hakuna Matata" stuck in their head, but I think it's important to remember that SImba learned that he had to face his past instead of running away in pursuit of a carefree life, to become who he was meant to be. Rafiki taught us and SImba that the Past doesn't have to destroy us or send us to run and hide; the Past can shape us into a better person for the Future, if we let it.

4. "Keep moving forward."

"Keep moving forward," which was one of Walt Disney's personal mottos, is one of the main themes of "Meet the Robinsons" (which is terribly underrated, in my opinion). This lesson coincides with what we learned from "The Lion King." From this, we learn that there is no point in dwelling in the past. Try to learn what you can, promise to try to be better, and then keep moving forward!

5. "Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten."

"Lilo and Stitch" has been one of my favorite movies for such a long time! I love the themes about family, about how family is a choice and a labor of love, in addition to being something determined by genetics.

6. "If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew you never knew."

This lyric from "Pocahontas" extends upon the idea of putting yourself in another person's shoes, which a wise person tries to do when faced with conflict. Pocahontas teaches us not to do this just to understand another person's point of view, but to also learn things we never could have known of otherwise.

7. Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional."

I love the idea that as we grow up, we don't have to let go of our childlike awe and curiosity toward the universe and stories. This distinction between growing old and growing up makes me feel a lot more comfortable about the passage of time.

8. "The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all."

Isn't it amazing to think that adversity doesn't have to break us? If we adapt and manage to overcome, our hardships could transform us into better, stronger people. This inspires me to see trials as an opportunity to grow, which is fortunate since we live in a world that doesn't lack trials.

9. "The very things that hold you down are going to lift you up."

After having to watch sweet Dumbo struggle with mistreatment over his adorable ears, it overjoyed me to see that the very things that had caused him pain would finally bring him admiration. I think this can teach us that the things about ourselves that we may consider undesirable or weak could be genuinely wonderful to someone else.

10. "No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the things that you wish will come true."

"Cinderella" teaches us about the power of joy and optimism during dark times. Determination to hold on to bright ideas to the future is an absolute strength.

11. "A true hero isn't measured by the size of his strength but by the strength of his heart."


In "Hercules," Zeus himself contradicts the idea of a hero as someone with immense physical strength, in favor of a hero with great strength of heart. We can learn to place greater importance on the content of someone's character over their physical capabilities.

12. "Always let your conscience be your guide."

I think we would all do well to remember Jiminy Cricket's lessons on the importance of a well-formed conscience in an often immoral world.

13. "All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them."

I don't know if anything inspires me more than this Walt Disney quote. Maybe it sounds a bit naive or too optimistic, but I choose to believe it anyway, and I hope you do too.

Cover Image Credit:

Thomas Kelley

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