Times have certainly changed since the era of naptimes and Lincoln Logs; you’re older, you’re taller, you have a vague idea of what a “reimbursement” is, and you’re much more aware of your crippling flaws and how they affect the ones you care about. But although that world seems far behind you, it’s important to occasionally forget about the craziness of being an adult and think about the things that used to brighten your world... but now do absolutely nothing for you. For example…
1. The GameBoyThe GameBoy was always your favorite. You would spend hours playing it, feeling its plastic curves on your fingers, indulging yourself in its pixelated universes. It provided for you more enjoyment than the loving warmth of your family. But now, it is just a piece of machinery from your past. It doesn’t help you with your studies, your relationships, or your rent. It is just a toy.
2. The football-headed boy named Arnold
Remember the antics of the football-headed boy, his pseudo-urban setting, and his jealous female friend with the horrifying eyebrow? You spent much of your time in childhood laughing at the things they would say and do, and it brought you enjoyment. But now, the football-headed boy is only a vanishing puff of smoke in an ever-distancing past, and you likely don’t even remember the voice of the character who once filled your afternoons with joy.
3. The Lunchable
Ah, the Lunchable. Nothing was better for you than running out of your class with an empty stomach in your body and images of dancing fairies in your head, sitting down at the cafeteria table, and eating the Lunchable. The rubbery numbness of the ham defined your childhood. The controversial cheese washed the innocence of youth over you. But the Lunchable has long since turned to excrement, and you remember its constant threat of salmonella no longer.
4. The book of monsters
"Where the Wild Things Are" was your favorite story. It offered to the imagination a world of exciting creatures, disobedient children, starvation and not having to read more than one small sentence per page, each of which included a large picture. However, today, Where the Wild Things Are is just a movie that sort of creeped you out in high school. Can it help you with the fact that you have two difficult midterms on the same day? No. It no longer has significance to you.
5. The Juicy Fruit
Chew chew chew. Smack smack smack. Constantly these things would be heard from you in the apex of your childhood, as you always had the Juicy Fruit with you. You could earn the favor of your other mindless peers with the promise of the saccharine, melodious succulence of the somehow unhealthy gum. However, at this moment, its delectability has no impact on your life. You just want to graduate and make it in the entertainment industry; gum or no gum.
6. The Green Day and the Blink-182
You nearly soiled your pants when you got your first iPod nano, knowing that you could finally listen to classics like “All the Small Things” and “Boulevard of Blink-182s” by these timeless post-punk groups whenever and wherever you wanted. You had 10-year-old angst that couldn’t be expressed through anything except so, so, so many power chords and 30-year-old teenagers with spiky haircuts. Each of those songs illuminated the scenes of your youth with an edgy sense of sanguinity, but now their radio-friendly rebellion doesn’t do anything to help you pay for Coachella or EDC.
7. The Disney Channel movie in which the relatable protagonist discovers a special talent or power, becomes excited about that talent/power, discovers the downfalls of that talent/power, enters a conflict as a direct result of the talent/power, uses the talent/power with better intentions to solve the said conflict, and ends up in a fulfilling relationship with an attractive peer
Remember this Disney Channel movie? Of course you do. There were at least 14 of them when you were a child, and they were as exciting and interesting to you then as they are irrelevant and outdated to you now.
8. The blissful ignorance of societal norms, expectations, and world issues that are now all too relevant to your life
When you woke up in the morning in the fifth grade, what did you think about? How to talk to someone you found attractive without making them feel uncomfortable? The patriarchy? How your education is a financial investment for your parents and the quality of your performance reflects the soundness of their decision to send you to school? No. You thought about how funny the fart joke you made yesterday was. You thought about the Gushers. You thought about all the Gushers until there were no more of the Gushers to think about. You had no social awareness, and life was an ecstatic float down an incognizant and beautiful river that led to nowhere except a 9 p.m. bedtime and dreams of being a rockstar. And now, as you spend every waking minute worrying about med school, law school, grad school, your fraternity, your sorority, your friendships, your family, your clubs, your grades and your life in this one big rubber band ball of stress and high expectations, that time in which nothing mattered except recess and funny jokes doesn’t mean much to you.
But maybe it should.
