8 Things Pennywise Could Say To Lure Any Millennial

8 Things Pennywise Could Say To Lure Any Millennial

"Free food"

I finally got the chance to see the 2017 version of “It” and it did not disappoint. 10/10 would recommend seeing it in theaters. Most of us know the general plot of “It”, a sadistic clown named Pennywise hunts children every 27 years in a town called Derry. In the trailer you see little Georgie chasing after the paper boat that his older brother, Bill, made for him. When it falls down into the sewer Pennywise uses it to lure Georgie close enough for him to grab him.

Now, I don’t know about you, but it would take a hell of a lot to get me to go anywhere near a clown in a sewer. As a millennial, I tend to see the good in the world I am still skeptical of something as creepy as a clown.

Or maybe it wouldn’t take as much as I think it would…

1. “Free food”

Let’s be honest, there aren't many millennials wouldn’t do for free food.

2. “I have the key to the perfect Instagram aesthetic”

We have all tried to obtain the perfect insta aesthetic. Wouldn’t it be nice if we were just given a roadmap?

3. “Starbucks”

Alright, this one is for all the basic white girls out there, but you know it’s true.

4. “I can make your student loan debt go away”

Not to be dramatic, but I would sell my soul to Pennywise if he could make my student loan debt disappear.

5. “Avocado”

Millennials love their good fats. Plus, avocados means you can make guacamole.

6. “I have the Quizlet answers to all your online quizzes”

Catch me in the sewers getting A’s on all my online tests and quizzes.

7. “I have an unlimited supply of Four Loko”

Pennywise will be getting lit with all the millennials in Derry.

8. “I have dogs down here”

I would go anywhere to pet a dog. Anywhere.

So clearly it wouldn’t take nearly as much as I thought it would to lure a millennial into a sewer with a creepy serial killer/pedophile looking clown. Even though I have a fear of clowns, I have learned there are actually quite a few things that I could overcome that fear for.

Cover Image Credit: Youtube

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