Being a junk food addict means that if you're not consuming sugary treats, then the thought of them is consuming you. My mouth waters at the mention of an Oreo, and I often find myself daydreaming about the next snack I won’t be able to say no to. At this point, the withdrawal symptoms are deadly, and I simply can’t function without my daily bowl of ice cream (it is the sixth food group after all). Here are some thoughts that cross my own mind everyday.

1. "One more cookie won’t kill me."

This thought process works fine until you look down and realize the whole sleeve of Chips Ahoy cookies is gone.

2. "I burned 300 calories on the treadmill today, and there aren't that many in a brownie, right?"

I purposely plan my workouts around the desserts offered in the dining hall every night. Some days, that means running four miles, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

3. "I had a rough day, so I deserve this milkshake."

There’s not a pick-me-up quite like one involving chocolate ice cream. I don't care what anybody says, stress-eating can be extremely therapeutic.

4. "Today was such a productive day, I’m going to reward myself with an ice cream sundae."

College reading is hefty stuff, and it takes a lot of brain power to get through it all alive. So when your eyes have sufficiently glazed over and you’re left mentally drained, the brain freeze from the ice cream is an excellent reward for all of that hard work.

5. "This chocolate-covered strawberry is technically a fruit."

Note to my mom: I guarantee I would eat way more fruits and vegetables if I could drown them all in chocolate.

6. "This bag of chips says "15 percent less fat," so I’m making good choices!"

In the end, it's whatever helps me sleep at night.

7. "IOGSCSO" (It’s Only Girl Scout Cookie Season Once)

This means stocking up on Thin Mints and ensuring you have a good hiding place so you don’t have to share any.

8. "Everything in moderation, so I’ll just have one of each?"

Isn't that how the saying goes?

By now, most of my friends have just accepted that I'm a bad influence on their eating habits. For them, hanging out with me inevitably ends in their consumption of more calories than they intended on having. I practically live for the disbelief in their eyes the first time they watch me take down a family-size bag of Doritos. I've come to the realization that I can't cut junk food out of my diet entirely, so it's easier to just embrace my lack of self control and stick to planning my life around my morning Pop-Tart.