I always thought that the day you left, I would die. I truly believed without you, there was no me. However it has been three months now and I am very much alive and happy to be here. I labeled love as something ugly; something you told me was love. But here are a few things that I learned since you left me.
1. Love is not lies. I engulfed myself in your lies but when they began to break me down, you left. Like a coward you could cause me pain, but could not handle it. I traded love for lies and that is my biggest regret.
2. I learned that I like to clean. On late nights when my mind would wander to you, I found myself picking up a broom or washing dishes. Anything to distract my mind.
3. I learned that I really love poetry. When my pain seemed to be spilling over into my soul, I got rid of it by writing words. I listened to spoken word; I studied it, memorized it and internalized it. Poetry saved me from you.
4. I learned that life was too short. For so long I’d hold grudges and hate people, but recently I’ve connected with some amazing people that I believed I would never talk too. I have friends now, people who enjoy hanging out with me.
5. I learned that I like to party. For so long I felt like I couldn’t do certain things, so that I wouldn’t upset you. However when you left I found myself partying, getting lost in the music and laughs. I have fun now. I smile now.
6. I learned that I can move on. I had always believed you were the only one for me and that I would wait for you to come back to me. However, I can say that is not true. I found a girl who looks at me with stars in her eyes and likes to just spend time with me, even if it’s stuff she doesn’t enjoy.
7. I found someone who doesn’t take her emotions out on me and instead talks to me about everything she feels. Love is not immaturity, but with you that is all I got. You’ve taught me many things due to you leaving, however the most important factor is that when you left I began to love me. I no longer feel conflicted to save someone with my love; I now know that is next to impossible.
8. My love and dedication could not make you change and that is fine. I am not a surgeon. I could not have gone on cutting out parts of me to keep you afloat. But you’re gone now and I am soaring. I am going through my metamorphosis of life.
Thank you for leaving me.
