1. I promise I'm not mad at you, I'm just mad because I'm hungry.
It’s like those Snickers commercials. I’m not me when I’m hungry, but I can’t help it. Just feed me and we will be OK. I really can't help it, I just get really irritable and lash out at everyone. I may say some really mean things when I'm hungry. This is why the word "hangry" was invented.
2. When I’m being moody, you should probably just feed me.
Ninety-nine percent of the time, I’m only moody because I haven’t eaten in the past hour. Don’t try to argue, just get me something to eat. It’s easier this way for everyone involved. When I get hungry, I get really sad, as well as angry. That's just how it is.
3. I pinky promise that I really do love you more than the food you give me.
I know sometimes you think I’m more interested in my dinner that you made me than you. Sometimes you’re right. I can't help it. I really, really love chicken. Overall though, I care about you more than whatever I’m eating. Also, I can't help it. I really, really love you.
4. I’ll never be indecisive on where I want to eat.
I won’t hit you with that, “I don’t care, you pick.” I do care. No, we are not going to Chipotle, we are going where I want to go. I'm not going to be indecisive. I know what I want and it’s sushi, 99 percent of the time.
5. Don't be surprised if I call you and ask you to come over and bring me snacks.
I get hungry at all times, and the middle of the night is no exception. Be aware that if you get a call at 2 a.m. because I want a McChicken, you better be ready to go get that McChicken. Shout out to my boyfriend for always coming in clutch with slushies and Cheetos. I'm always down for some late night adventures to find whatever food I’m craving.
6. Don’t make a snide comment on how much I eat.
It’s just best for your health if you don’t. I've been known to punch people who upset me, and you're not going to be an exception. Aside from that, it's extremely rude. Why would you purposefully be rude to your girlfriend? That makes no sense.
7. If you can cook, great! If you can’t, learn.
Before you get the hang of it, we can always go out to eat. I certainly don't mind. But think of the possibilities. We can cook together, because that's literally the cutest thing in the world. Especially to someone who lives for food. My boyfriend—along with his family—are amazing cooks. #blessed
8. We are the funniest girls.
I don’t really know where the connection is, but it’s definitely there. All of the funny girls that I know are obsessed with eating—myself included. Jennifer Lawrence is recognized as being one of the funnier celebrities, and everybody knows she loves to eat.
