We've all been there on a Saturday night in our cute outfits and double-fisting our fave vodka cranberries. We witness a lot at college bars, and honestly, it's a mystery we go back every weekend, again and again.
The Lines ...
We hop out of the Uber and straight into a line longer than the several other lines you'll encounter over the course of the night. It's crowded, you're drunk, and let's face it, your beer jacket is just not cutting the coldness. Don't worry there will also be lines for coat check, lines at at the bar, lines for the bathroom and the all-too-infamous grind lines ... ew!
The Bouncer ...
Honey, your fake ID didn't work last week with this guy, it won't work this week! He knows the difference between real and fake Maryland IDs. Give up, already.
The Overly Drunk Friend ...
We're having fun, dancing and singing to the newest mainstream pop songs, and all of a sudden, you can't find your overly drunk friend. Lucky for you, she's draped over a boy who's been holding her up while you've been trying to hold your own. Drape her over the railing on the stage and continue.
The Creep ...
There's hands and a crotch rubbing up against you, and you're assuming it's not your best girlfriend playing a joke. It's the guy from across the bar that been staring at you for the past 15 minutes. Not exactly my prince charming.
The "New" Girl ...
You're pissed because the guy you used to "love" is now all over a new girl who is staring you down just to show you her newly flipped property. Take your too-tight pink bodycon and scoot! I get it. You can have him!
The Guy That's Too Old ...
There's always one in a crowd, and he's standing next to you in short shorts and a matching denim vest with a mesh t-shirt. Toad's goers, you know what I mean! He's just reliving his youth 10 times over. Get him a beer!
"Can I buy you a drink ..."
No sir, I'm a single independent woman with some money in my pocket and no job or internship and student loans and no meal plan money left ... Yeah sure, why not? Vodka cran, please!
Lights On ...
You've done it again! The lights come on. It's 2 a.m., and you find yourself in the lap of a friend-zoned guy friend who figured the best place for you to sleep wouldn't be a bench in the bar, but in your OWN dorm bed.
Just gather your dignity and your shoes, and go home, sweetie ... It's been a long night! See you next weekend.
