Do you often find yourself extremely stressed out, trying to succeed in school and work while balancing that with a social life and keeping your loved ones happy? Do you find that you no longer have time to focus on your own needs and mental well-being? Do you tend to overthink? Are you confused with making life decisions? Here are 8 simple ways to improve your overall quality of happiness:
1. Incorporate positive self-talk into your life.
Wake up in the morning, look at your reflection, and admire all your strengths and good qualities. Be a little extra nice to yourself and start the day with a good mood. This isn’t being conceited, it’s called building yourself up. Remember, there will be those rough days when nothing anyone says will make you feel better and you won’t have a shoulder to cry on. Talk yourself through the hard times. Remember that no one knows your infinite strength better than you do, so find the will power within you to tell yourself it will be okay.
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2. Reflect on how you feel.
In 21st century America, rationalization is lauded. We make pros and cons lists, consult with those around us, and try to do what’s best in the long run. Yes, it’s important to do this from time to time, but don’t forget to pay attention to how you feel as well. Don’t choose a university for its high ranks, but rather for how you envision yourself being able to be happy as a student there. Don’t go into a career field because it’ll make you rich; do it because it’s what you love to do. With whatever you do in life, remember to take a step back and ask yourself: how will this make me feel?
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3. Learn that some things are just out of your control.
Have you ever put your heart and soul, your absolute 100% effort into something but it didn’t work out in your favor? I know I have. Though failure can truly suck, it is important to accept that no matter how hard you try to save that broken relationship, get into that dream school, or get that position you always wanted, sometimes your highest efforts won’t be enough and that is completely OKAY. Life will place hundreds of new opportunities in your way everyday and you will find what’s right for you, maybe not today, but eventually.
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4. Be true to yourself.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever been stuck in an unhappy relationship, a boring career, an unsatisfying living situation, or anything in general that leaves you asking yourself: How did I get stuck in this? Is this what “happiness” is supposed to feel like?
Often times we have visions of how our lives are supposed to be based on artificial societal structures. We pursue career paths our parents tell us to pursue, date people we think are right for us, and follow what’s considered “acceptable” and “normal”, while ignoring our true likes and passions. We don’t leave our comfort zones because we are scared of the unknown.
While it’s phenomenal to have role models and listen to your elders, it is NOT healthy to live someone else’s life. Take risks. Try something new. Pursue a career that makes YOU happy, not one that would bring your family prestige. Date someone that gives you butterflies. Discover what’s good for YOU. STOP being a follower and create your own definition of happiness.
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5. Learn how to say no.
If ever placed in a situation that doesn’t quite feel right, get out of it. You are in no way obligated to make everyone happy, go to every party/ social gathering, or do things you simply do not want to do. Saying no can be difficult, but it is essential towards your mental and emotional health. Allow yourself to define your limits and boundaries; don’t leave it up to others.
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6. Don’t expect.
Having standards for yourself is a wonderful thing, but having your expectations set too high can really disappoint you. Don’t expect that one friend to say Happy Birthday to you. Don’t expect the new person you’re dating to end up being the love of your life. Don’t expect others to always be there for you. While it would be nice if all these things happened, don’t FORCE it to happen. Others will not always take your needs into consideration if it doesn’t match with their own. Realize that everybody is looking out for themselves and sometimes even the ones closest to you might go against your wishes if it doesn’t correlate with theirs. Unrealistically high expectations will set you up for disappointment.
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7. Find silver linings to the terrible situations.
Didn’t get into your competitive dream college? You just saved yourself lots of money, interactions with snobby privileged people, and four years of feeling like the dumbest person in the classroom. Frankly, it’s really their loss anyways because they won’t get to meet your awesome self.
Got dumped by your “true love”? Reassure yourself that you are wonderful and this person is a complete idiot for not seeing that. This situation can be another learning experience for you and you will look back and laugh at this once you find your real true love in the future.
Remind yourself that what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger and every sh*tty situation is another stepping stone towards making you the bad ass b*tch that you are meant to become.
8. Lastly, believe in the power of YOU.
This is YOUR life and YOURS only. Be kind to others and do good for your community but don’t hesitate to put your own needs first every once in a while. The sad truth is that this is a selfish world and we’re all just trying to survive, while maybe having some fun along the way. Remember that everything about you is unique and you can literally do whatever you put your mind to. This is YOUR story to write and with all the amazing things you have to offer this world, you will make it one hell of a story!
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