Most people associate the terms "abusive relationship" or "unhealthy relationship" with just something physical. Assault, hitting, punching… All the “classic” physical things when you hear those phrases. But, an unhealthy relationship is so much more than just that - it can be physical, yes, but it can also be mental, verbal, and emotional. Here are some signs you might be in an unhealthy relationship:

1. Your actions are planned out for you

Where you go, who you talk to, when you do something, what you wear – those are all things that an abusive person will try to control. Even if it’s a simple “Hey, I don’t like that on you, go change,” or “Don’t talk to that person anymore, I don’t like them,” these words can show you that your partner wants to control the way you act in whatever way, shape, or form. Speak up for what you want to do and don’t let another person influence the way you want to act.

2. Your problems are minimized

When you’re struggling with something, you shouldn’t feel like you can’t share that something with your partner. If you feel like you don’t have the freedom to share what you’re really feeling, go to a person who will empathize with you and try to help you through it in a healthy way – not someone who will make your struggles seem insignificant.

3. You feel guilty for talking to other friends

Your friends are an important part of your life. If you feel like you can’t communicate with them in fear of how your partner will react, take a step back. Remember that they're in your life for a reason and you shouldn't cut communication with them unless YOU really want to.

4. You are being put down

Do not let yourself be told anything negative about yourself by your partner. This includes telling you to lose weight, cutting or dying your hair, changing the way you dress, etc. Your style is your style and the way you look should only be controlled by you. Never accept a negative comment if you know it’s not true or you don’t like how it’s said.

5. You need to reassure your partner all the time

Reassuring your partner of something 24/7 is not only impossible but unhealthy as well. You cannot be expected to constantly boost them up when sometimes, you can’t even boost yourself up. The best way to be there for someone is to be there for yourself first. That way, when you’re needed to help, you can give your 110%.

6. You are being lied to or about

The minute you start hearing lies about yourself, reevaluate what type of relationship you’re in. Only you know the truths and facts about what is going on. If you start to hear fabrications, sit down with your partner and have a serious conversation about what seems to be happening. If there is a miscommunication, try to work on it. If the lies continue, have another more serious conversation about where your relationship is going.

7. You feel threatened

Threatening, in any shape or form, is completely unacceptable and intolerable. Whether it’s your health, your wellbeing, your safety, etc, the minute you feel or hear a threat, go to someone you trust to see how you should safely proceed.

8. You feel harassed

Harassment can include a number of different things: sexual, verbal, emotional, technological, etc. Whatever form it takes, it is not okay in any way. If you feel harassed, bring the situation to light with someone you trust and see how you can deal with it healthily.

If your relationship has any of the above aspects, talk to someone you trust about how to take the next steps in making both parties in your relationship happier and healthier.