Growing up I believed my father’s job to be relatively unique but one day it dawned on me that there has to be more of us out there. More of us kids drawn to the ocean and told stories of hard working men and women who spend their days out at sea. More of us who have a parent with a love of ships and seafood. More of us who find the smell of fish to be a tad comforting. There are many of us and we’re all over the world. Here are a few things you’ll recognize if you too are the child of a commercial fisherperson.
Mom or Dad were always away for a long time
This was the biggest downside. This meant missed birthdays and holidays that don’t include memories with your parent. When you mention one of the special occasions to reference an inside joke they don’t know what you’re talking about. Then you remember they weren’t there. This awkward interaction is followed by backtracking and retelling stories so that they can be included. Hopefully the story doesn’t end with “you had to be there”.
But Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years was central party time
Yeah, these are big deals at everyone's home but it was a ginormous deal at your house. Having a solid two month window of uninterrupted time with your parent meant planned family vacations, lots of shopping, celebrating and going out so that you could cram all the fun things into two months before they had to leave again.
They came home skinny and left with a tummy
This is no way said in judgement. This is said with supreme admiration for the commercial fishing profession that includes a LOT of manual labor. On top of it all many of the workers, when off work, make their way to the weight room to help destress from a long 12 hour shift. So when they come home they are in shape. It never lasts long though the holidays take their toll (because homemade food is delicious) and the tummy appears again.
They had A LOT of friends from different places
If your parent was already an immigrant from another country, then you know the experience of living in a different culture in America. However, add all the diverse people from their workplace and things get that much more exciting. You met their friends from all over the world, places like Samoa, the Philippines, Poland, South Africa, Mexico, Egypt, Ukraine, and Japan. So when everyone came over to your house there was no shortage of new foods, new accents and new people to dote on you.
They always came home with a huge beard (and was in desperate need of a haircut)
The man looked looks like the nutty professor every time he came off the boat. It was like Albert Einstein was his style icon. The barber shop was one of the first places that was called when they came through the door.
Fish for you, fish for me, fish for the neighbor that we don’t really talk to
I don’t know how you end up with so much seafood in your freezer but it always ended up being given away to anyone who even thought the words: shrimp, salmon, or crab
Late night drives to the airport
If your parent did any fishing in Alaska, and didn’t actually live there, then you know about the red eye flights back to the local airport. These were both the most exciting and rewarding days, knowing that you get to see your parent again but that you will be up until 5 am on a school night. Looks like you’re sleeping through calculus.
Appreciating the time you have with them
At the end of the day you miss your parent more than you see them. Any time you get to spend with them is treasured whether it’s only a day or a week, it’s better than waiting for another month and a half for them to finish their trip. The time with them is special so you treat it as such.
Now go leave your fisher parent a heartfelt voicemail (and hopefully they get it sometime soon because the connection on the boats are the absolute worst).
