Everyone has their own reaction to the idea of a relationship and their own reasons on why they do or do not want one. In college, I’ve heard so many various opinions towards relationships, like people saying they were all for it and other people saying their simply not ready to date at this age and time. And honestly, either response is fine. Even though I’ve heard people say how a girl is usually the one to become invested in a relationship, a lot of girls tend to turn away from even starting one, all for extremely valid reasons.
1. The Physical Attraction is Simpler Than An Emotional One
With a relationship that’s purely physically or one where two people are just physically attracted to each other, it’s “no strings attached” and basically friends with benefits. However, there’s all a reason for it. With a relationship based upon physical attraction, there’s no room for complicated situations or becoming an emotional wreck. And simply, situations just happen and conflicting feelings don’t get in the way, and as college students, the last thing we need is additional conflicts added on to our busy schedules.
2. Commitments Are Scary
It’s hard enough for us to be committed to our homework and jobs, but now a boy? Being tied to one person can be so terrifying sometimes. It can make you feel like your freedom is being minimized or even like you don’t have the opportunities to make the unforgettable reckless decisions because you’re so preoccupied with being committed to this boy. It’s a whole person you have to be dedicated to, that’s probably the largest commitment you’re ever gonna get.
3. And Relationships Are Just As Scary Too
When you think about relationships, sure you think about how the sparks fly and about the butterflies, but what about the drama? And the arguments? What if you feel too connected to this person? Or not connected enough? And then feelings that you never felt before and aren’t even sure you want to feel arise? And trust me, being scared of your feelings can be such an average and daily activity.
4. Trusting Someone Is Much Harder Than You Think
In a relationship, trust has to be earned. But what if you just end up giving this boy trust too early? Or giving him not enough or too much trust? I’ve seen couples have issues with trusting each other and if you don’t have trust, will the relationship even survive? It’s honestly so hard to trust people sometimes, but in a relationship, you can sometimes be sucked into that obligation to in order to make things with the boy work.
5. And It’s So Much Easier To Get Hurt
You’ve seen movies and TV shows where boys cheat and you’ve come to understand that no matter how dedicated you are to a person, sometimes that’s just not enough. Life is filled with distractions that makes it so easy for you to fall out of the love you thought you were in, which hurts both you and the boy, a pain you never wished to feel. Losing touch of that happily ever after with a boy is so common, like that happiness can so quickly slip away, so what’s the point in trying?
6. We're Worried That We’ll Get Attached
You can’t help who you fall for, and that’s the worst part. You can’t help the fact that you get attached to this boy or picture such happy moments when you’re with him and once you’re in the picture, you’re in deep. And that’s terrifying. Being so deeply invested in a person can feel like such a weight on our shoulders, and all in all, what if that boy doesn’t feeling the same way? Then you’re putting all your daydreaming about this boy to waste.
7. And We’re Worried That Things Can Be Awkward/Uncomfortable
The last thing you want when you’re on a date is to feel like you have nothing to talk about with a person or feel like you can’t be comfortable with this person in silence. And for me personally, whenever things get awkward, I run and take that as a sign that this relationship wasn’t meant to be and that I should just stop trying because it’s already uncomfortable. That’s what I fear the most, all that lack of comfort.
8. Could We Be Wasting Our Time?
More so than anything, you don’t want to put everything you had into someone and realize that he wasn’t even worth it. You realize all the time you just wasted on this person and you just want that time back. I look back on some of my failed relationships and realize how much some of them was a waste and think about how stupid they were, which is why so many girls in general wait for some one who is worth it.
Even though I know some of my failed relationships may have been a waste, some were a learning experience. Some taught me that I deserve better than what I was settling for and some taught me that I need to finally let my guard down. And stop letting the things I’m worried about prevent me from taking chances. Every girl has a wall built up to protect herself, which is only natural, especially for me. And even though I’m not ready to take that wall down now, I know I will be someday
