8 Reasons Why Birdie Sanders Would Be A Better Leader Than Donald Trump

We have seven whole months to go until the election, which is honestly surprising given all of the drama and ridiculousness that has transpired thus far. Truth be told, I don’t delve too far into politics, but I do know that we have witnessed speculation of Ted Cruz being the Zodiac Killer, Hillary Clinton promising to investigate UFOs and expose alien contact with our planet, and Donald Trump’s metamorphosis from a joke of a candidate to an alarmingly popular joke of a candidate.

Given all of the negativity and ugly stuff in the news as a result of this presidential race, I was completely taken aback when Bernie Sanders’ rally in Portland blessed us with the purest, most innocently wholesome thing to come out of this hot mess. Birdie Sanders made a truly iconic debut, and it was exactly what we needed.

I can honestly say that this little bird fluttering up to Bernie’s podium genuinely moved me. From the crowd's thunderous cheering and applause to Bernie’s shock and awe, it was a magical moment that anyone can appreciate. Call the incident a sign from Mother Nature or merely coincidence, but it gave me a strange hope that this election’s outcome will be all right after all.

In fact, the few seconds that Birdie graced my computer screen convinced me that he or she could very well be the leader that this country needs. In fact, I’m confident that Birdie Sanders would make for a better president than Trump any day, and I will tell you why.

1. Birdie can captivate a crowd without saying a single word. Charisma radiates from Birdie like beams of light, and Birdie is the type of being I already know I could trust with my life.

2. Birdie is a great listener, and wants to hear what everyone has to say.

3. Birdie does not squawk inappropriate nonsense. He/she is polite and considerate, and did not steal the spotlight until addressed.

4. Birdie remains calm and composed under pressure.

5. Birdie brings pure joy and hope to the American people instead of spreading hatred and fear.

6. Birdie is a mere bird. I can already tell he/she does not discriminate against anyone based on race, gender, religion, etc.

7. Birdie knows all there is to know about environmental issues, being a bird and all. Even a mere bird knows that global warming is real.

8. And last but not least, Birdie’s distant relative has spoken.