This semester at school, my beautiful, future veterinarian friend Paola decided to train a service dog. His name is Toro, he is a golden retriever, and he is perfect in every way imaginable. Toro is turning 6 months on Tuesday, so, naturally, Paola threw him quite the birthday bash over the weekend. While this is the only puppy birthday party I have ever had the honor to attend, I feel confident in saying that puppy parties are way cooler than human parties. Without further ado, here are some reasons why.

1) You can clip a balloon to a puppy and it’s super adorable, but if you clip a balloon to a human they will either A) accuse you of harassment B) insist that you take photos of them until they get the right insta with said balloon or C) drunkenly pop the balloon after yelling at you for not getting the shiny number balloons that showcase their age.

2) A puppy in a party hat is beautiful. A human in a party hat kinda just looks like a character from Coneheads.

3) You can buy a puppy a cake and eat it all by yourself immediately after, and said puppy will still be on cloud nine. If you buy a human a birthday cake and eat it before they can it will result in a lawsuit.

4) Puppies don’t complain about how they look in the pictures that you post of them at their parties. Birthday humans dictate every picture you want to post, to ensure that they look glowing in all their birthday glory, while your eyes are closed and you kinda resemble a potato.

5) Puppies may have a few puppy amigos you don’t know well, but you will invite them anyways, and adorableness is guaranteed to ensue, no matter what. Whereas, when planning a human birthday party, you must invite every single friend in the birthday human’s life. And trust me, your BFF has some seriously disturbed friends from whatever obscure phase they went through in middle school. And, yes, they want all these friends in attendance.

6) You can take birthday shots while the birthday dog lies out on the lawn chewing on a milk bone. Birthday humans will be included in all and any rounds of shots and eventually, you will be responsible for babysitting them at the end of the night. And trust me, keeping a tight leash on a birthday human is exponentially more difficult than keeping a tight leash on a birthday dog. And birthday humans are far feistier.

7) At the end of the night, the only reason you may have to carry your puppy friend is for a cute picture, or maybe because they’re just a bit tired from running around with all their puppy friends. However, at the end of a human’s birthday, you better bet you’ll be carrying them. They also will probably be flailing in your arms, while yelling at you for confiscating their phone and refusing to let them text a bitter novel to their ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.

8) Puppies don’t even know that it’s their bday, AKA you can celebrate a puppy’s bday whenever, and no one will second guess you by asking for your puppy’s birth certificate for proof. Celebrating fake/half human birthdays is just uncomfy, and everyone will catch you in the lie when there are no Facebook birthday notifications.