So it’s 2016 and Donald Trump is running against Hillary Clinton in the presidential election. I’m not here to tell you who to vote for, but it does appear that neither of the candidates are very great. While at work, pondering this conundrum, I brainstormed some people who may be better fit to run this great nation. Here is what I came up with:
Jimmy Fallon
I can’t think of one knock against Jimmy Fallon. He would add so much humor into those long, boring speeches the president is always making. This certainly would ensure that more people pay attention to our government, which is pretty important. I also haven’t met one person who doesn’t like Jimmy Fallon, so maybe he could bring the Democrats and Republicans together. Lastly, if you have ever seen his show and seen the Thank You Notes section, you know he is all about giving credit where credit is due. With this skill, he would not be shy about recognizing outstanding work, as he would handwrite letters to anyone deserving.
Your Homeowner’s Association President
This person already has presidential experience, which can’t be said for many candidates. The HOA president already has a lot of responsibilities, so the transition to President of the United States of America wouldn’t be too difficult. Plus, if you are into putting up a wall along the border, chances are your HOA president already has experience with putting up a wall, but for blocking out the sound of a nearby road.
Cersei Lannister
Although Cersei may not technically always be in a position of power, she always finds a way to make the decisions in Westeros. This puts her in league with a current hopeful president if you believe the rumors. Besides that point, Cersei has many redeeming qualities that would make her a good president. For one, she isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty, if you know what I mean. Also, she will really take the separation of church and state seriously, which could lead to major reform. Finally, she is absolutely ruthless, and will never forget people or governments who have crossed her.
The Guy Who Gives You Pirated Movies
If you can overlook his disregard for internet security and law, which shouldn’t be a problem for some, this guy could be the real deal. He really knows what life is about, good entertainment at low (or no) cost. He will exploit whoever it takes to satisfy the people, which is something the President needs to do as well.
Your High School Principal
Chances are if you went to high school, you had a principal. There is an even greater chance that your principal would make a great president. The job description of a principal and the president are actually identical, “Please the masses, inspire great fear in your adversaries, and go (insert mascot of the organization)”.
Property Brothers Co-Presidency
I know we haven’t had two presidents at the same time before, but we do have a president and vice president at the same time, and I am pretty sure they split the workload an even fifty-fifty. Therefore, we should just call both of them President. Which power couple is more deserving of the very first, USA co-presidency than Jonathan and Drew Scott of Property Brothers? These two have made their money off real estate and do not have any government experience, which is apparently an excellent resume for the American Presidency. And honestly, one of them is a builder, the other is a seller, so what more does our country really need?
Joel Quenneville
A president with a mean mustache instantly commands much more respect from the leaders of other world nations. This alone is reason enough for Joel Quenneville to run for president, not to mention his career of success. He is a born winner and has recently lead the powerhouse Chicago Blackhawk’s to not one or two, but three Stanley Cup champions. Being that he is in the world of hockey, he is Canadian, but he has coached three NHL teams in US cities, so surely we can bend the rules for him. Worst Case scenario, he has just a so-so presidency, but will propel the USA hockey team past those pesky Canadians.
Inventor of Heelies
Last, but not least, the genius behind Heelies deserves your consideration for the presidency. The person who put a wheel in the heel of your shoe clearly understands efficiency. This will be incredibly handy while he overhauls the cumbersome, and often inefficient United States government. Also, this modern day Ben Franklin certainly understands fashion, and everyone can appreciate that.
