As classes start up again, the constant flood of humanity that we like to call the passing period is out full stop. While people watching is the spectator sport of choice, it’s hard to fathom what all of these people could have in common.
Despite this, there are always a few archetypes of college students that I see every semester and I’m willing to bet that you’ll see too.
1. A "New Year, New Me" Person
Whether or not you knew this person before, you know that they have undergone a winter transformation because they are a fresh beam of sunlight. They positively radiate optimism and are dedicated to being the best version of themselves at all times. They may switch to sweat pants and eat granola bars grumpily for all three meals later in the semester, but for right now, they are #KillingIt. You go, A “New Year, New Me” Person.
2. Someone Already Completely Done With This Semester
You notice someone slip into the back of the room 15 minutes late to their first class of the semester. They look exhausted even though it’s 3 p.m. Some of the favorite accessories of the Someone Already Completely Done With This Semester include a blanket, pajamas in any variation, a meal decidedly not made for eating on-the-go, earbuds in during lecture, and a laptop from which they are not so secretly watching Netflix or shopping online. We can all relate to this person on the inside.
3. Someone In This Exact Outfit
This outfit is a carefully crafted combination of “I want to look cute” and “I want to be as comfortable as possible.” The stereotype associated with this person is that they are involved in Greek life, probably own an eno, and attended camp when they were younger and are now camp counselors. None of these may be true, but you will never know because they always seem to be busy doing something. Their outfit choice is very dependable, and you think if you got to know this person, they would be too.
4. The "Never Too Late For Coffee" Person
You wonder what the inside of this person’s backpack must look like because you have literally never seen them without a coffee cup in their hand. Is it just stacks of disposable cups and lids in there? You also wonder if they somehow have connections with the local coffee vendors in town to obtain this much coffee. If so, they must be the heir to a coffee fortune. Maybe they just know where to get free coffee, because there’s no way this is affordable. If you make friends with this person, report back to me on your findings.
5. Unhuman Figure Somehow Impervious To The Cold
Trudging through the early morning in nothing but shorts and a light sweatshirt, you wonder how they have not gotten hypothermia yet. Ice on the ground or actually snowing, nothing seems to bother this student who has somehow defeated the elements. This person in themselves seems to be a force of nature. If you ask, they might laugh and say, “Where I’m from, this is nothing!” claiming to be from the North. You shiver just at the thought of how cold it must be up there. You will wear seven layers to stay as warm as them anyway.
6. The Bodybuilder In Disguise
It’s the very first day of class and they are already carrying what seems to be a mountain of textbooks and notebooks. They either already have a backpack the size of a small child and have to carry them or are carrying them for no apparent reason at all. No one should mess with this person - chances are that they are ripped from carrying all of this extra stuff around. They would beat you at arm wrestling.
7. The Post-Party Animal
This person partied from New Year’s Eve up until the first day of class. At least, that’s what it seems like since the telltale signs of being hungover are clearly visible at your 8 a.m. They have sunglasses on, are carrying Gatorade or water or coffee or all three, and they don’t want to talk to anyone. At any other hour, they seem to be super friendly and awesome, but at the moment, the look on their face looks permanently distressed. Speak at a lower volume if you are sitting next to this person.
8. The Two-in-One Couple
You want to love this couple. You really do. However, you have places to be and they are taking up the entire sidewalk by holding hands side-by-side. They simultaneously make you feel like the most single person ever (even if you’re far from it) and like there may be hope that you will find someone you date long enough to be as loved up as these two are. Maybe you and your new boo can make friends with the Two-In-One Couple and go on cute double-dates. You probably won’t run into them ever again realistically, but you can dream.
