This weekend I flew from Ohio to Florida to celebrate my cousins wedding. However, this meant flying on Labor Day weekend, something I have avoided for my entire life. My flight was delayed an hour, I sat in the airport for far too long, and began making some observations. There are always characters aboard when I fly and people you can't seem to avoid. Based on both previous experiences, and this weekend in particular, these are the people you are bound to meet on an airplane:
1. The person looking for conversation.
They have the best of intentions. They just want to chit chat and make the flight pass quickly. However, you were looking forward to catching up on your book, closing your eyes, or listening to music. Well, if you're by this person you can forget it. Change of plans, you're going to be talking for the entire flight, whether you want to or not. Good luck.
2. The person who enjoyed the airport bar a little too much.
This person was probably only going to have one beer before flying. But then the flight got delayed, so they stayed at the bar a bit longer. They're bitter, they wreak of alcohol, and will be extra jumpy. You do you, but I can smell the vodka on your breath and I'm not okay with it. Oh wait, you're ordering another...great.
3. The person/family who brings potent food.
Airport food is expensive, so I get wanting to bring a snack for the flight - especially if you have kids. But do the whole plane a favor and stay away from potent foods. PB&Js instead of tuna fish salad please.
4. The person who forgot their headphones.
I know you think that listening to it on the lowest volume isn't that big a deal, but it is. It's not just that I don't like your taste in music, but it's that you have no taste. It's a two hour flight, close your eyes or read a book, but the whole plane doesn't want to hear Vanilla Ice for the whole flight.
5. The person who doesn't respect seat space.
Planes are cramped. Unless you're flying business class on a transatlantic, odds are you don't have much personal space. This however does not mean that you can take mine. I may be smaller (5'2"), but I want the little leg room I have please! Sharing isn't always caring.
6. The person that is just above it all.
We get it. You fly often and are tired of hearing the same announcements every time. This does not mean that it's okay for you to shout "ugh this is so unnecessary" during the safety announcement. Not only is that announcement required by law, but it's important to always be reminded. There are also potential first time flyers on this flight that need to learn this information. Swallow your pride, shut up, and let the flight attendants do their job.
7. The person that narrates the flight.
"This is a long taxi." "Oh we're speeding up, lift off in 10...9...8..." We're all experiencing it in real time, I don't need your voiceover. And if they're not narrating, their vocalizing all their thoughts to the plane. The only person who could make me want to listen to that is Morgan Freeman, his voice is majestic.
8. The person who disregards the seatbelt sign and sections.
It's there for your safety. There are rules for a reason. This is a lesson that dates back to elementary school. Just wait. It'll be off soon enough and you'll be able to move around as you please. However, remember that you didn't pay for first class and need to stay in your section. Once again, respect the flight attendants.
