If you say you’ve never people watched at the gym, you’re lying. Whether you’re sick of your 5-mile run on the treadmill, or you’re waiting for the machine you want to open up, there’s no hiding that everyone scopes out the people around them before they get in the zone.
While the gym is some people’s second home, it’s a place of horror and anxiety to others.
Going every day, or once a month, we all know that there are certain people you will almost always encounter while making your way to the locker room. No two people have the same exact workout routine, and no two people have the same “gym personality” either.
The gym is full of stereotypes ... and testosterone.
1. The Muscle Heads
These are probably the most frequently encountered gym-goers and also the most frequently made fun of.
The definition according to Urban Dictionary: Male or female bodybuilder whose only concern in life is bigger muscles. Usually implies little-to-no brain activity.
I can’t lie, the commitment that bodybuilders give to their bodies is admirable, but they do catch a bad reputation with their devotion to that and only that. Not to mention, they’re usually the ones walking around like they own the place. We understand you basically live here, but you’re really not better than us “normal” folks.
Although they always seem to have their game face on at the gym, they also always seem to have their selfie face on too. How many times a week do you need to post a picture of yourself at the gym? I think we get it.
2. The Creeps
Now, I know I admitted we all people-watch, but there are some people who take it to a whole new level. The worst is when you’re on the Stairmaster. You make eye contact with the guy next to you, purposely, so maybe he gets the hint that you know he’s watching you, but he doesn’t get it.
Not that girls don’t do it too, but some guys seem to literally go to the gym just to be on the prowl. Honestly, if you’re just constantly walking around and watching people work out, it’s hard for other people not to notice.
How convenient it is that you’re taking you take a water break, as we’re about to start our squats. There’s a difference between meeting a love interest at the gym, and searching for a love interest at the gym.
3. The Lost Ones
When I went to college I went into the gym for the first time in my life in order to avoid gaining the freshman 15. I never had to go before because I’d danced most of my life, and I have a naturally small shape. Needless to say I was lost.
We don’t know what we’re doing, we’re scared to approach a machine and use it the wrong way, for people to watch us trip on the Stairmaster or to attempt to lift a weight that we can’t handle.
But the lost ones are my favorite people at the gym. They’re the ones who are going out of their comfort zone and trying to make a change in their lives, whether skinny or overweight, it takes a lot for people to go into public and try to change their appearance or get healthy.
The more you go the more you learn. I’m far from a personal trainer, but being a gym virgin until I was 18, to now going almost every day, I’ve definitely made some positive changes.
To my fellow lost ones, don’t get discouraged, any attempt is better than nothing!
4. The Elderly
I’m not talking about the mid-life crisis old people, I’m talking about the white-haired grandmas and grandpas with more heart than Coach Taylor from "Friday Night Lights." Honestly, anyone who shows any negativity towards the elderly at the gym deserves to get a 50-pound weight dropped on their foot.
They are so determined, and sometimes so slow, but they do not care what anyone thinks. They know more about life than any of us young ones do, and to have the will power to be that old and still want to be healthy and fit, is an extremely rare feat.
You go, Granny!
5. The Girl Who Wears Makeup
When I go to the gym, I’m all for cute gym clothes, putting my hair in a ponytail and still trying to be feminine, but by the time I leave the gym, more hair has frizzed out of my ponytail than what’s left in it, and my face is probably as red as a tomato.
When I see girls with foundation, mascara and sometimes even lipstick on at the gym, I honestly cringe. Shocking, these are also usually the same girls with the spandex shorts up their butts and a bra under their sports bra … HOW? WHY? I can’t even answer these questions.
You go to the gym to exercise, when you exercise you sweat, when you sweat your makeup will drip, when your makeup drips it looks worse than it would if you didn’t wear any makeup. But in most cases these women don’t care about that because these women are also the women who are …drumroll, please ...
6. The Ones Who Do The Least Amount Of Activity Possible
We all know those girls who walk on an incline for two hours every day with every hair perfectly in place, the ones who take turns on machines while chatting with their friends and barely sweating a drop, or the ones who seem to always wait for the squat bar directly next to the football team.
You’re not fooling anyone, but you are getting attention I’m sure. Some people are just lucky enough to not have to workout hard to stay in good shape, genetics is a lovely gift.
7. The Workout Buddies
They walk in together, they go to the locker room together, they come out together, they workout together.
They’re posses. The groups of women, or men, who seem to have separation anxiety whenever they look up from their plank and don’t see their friend across from them. Half of them motivate each other and do pretty well at the gym, while the other half chit-chat or socialize with other gym-goers more than they work any muscles … besides whatever muscles it takes for hair flips.
If they’re a couple, sit back and enjoy the make-out session between each set.
8. The Fitspos
They’re not bothering anyone, they’re not overdoing it or underdoing it, and they look f*cking good. They’re not muscle heads but they’re not your average girl or guy either, that’s why I call them the “fitspos.”
You hate them, you probably talk about them, but you’re just jealous, admit it. All I ever really want to do when I see these people is say, "Please, tell me your ways!"
