After being in college for three years, I can confirm that there are at least twelve times a week that I promise myself I'm going to do something that ends up not getting done until that weekend, at the very earliest. Starting college, I thought I was going to be an overachieving student who kept all "A"s and maintained a balanced diet and thriving social life, rather than the introverted procrastinator I am today. I've narrowed the hundreds of lies I tell myself every week to these 8.
1. Lie: "I will not stay up till 2am working on this.
Reality: You will stay up until 3am working on that.
2. Lie: I will do this assignment before the day it's due."
Reality: Due tomorrow? More like DO tomorrow.
3. Lie: "I will eat 3 balanced/slightly healthy meals today."
Reality: No breakfast because you're running late to your 8am, eating Cheetos and/or jellybeans in the middle of class, a Rockstar, a full stack of pancakes from IHOP at 10pm, and a bag of Doritos at 2am. #adulting
4. Lie: "I will NOT get distracted."
Reality: SIIIIIKE! Cat videos and 15 episodes fo whatever's on Netflix.
5. Lie: "I will be social and attend a campus event this semester."
Reality: "Unless there's free tee shirts or food, I'm not going.
6. Lie: "I'll save all of my absences for the end of the semester."
Reality: "All of her notes are online anyway. AND I could work on that paper that's due- JK, sleeping in it is."
7. Lie: "I will NOT spend $6 on a coffee every morning."
Reality: Mornings are hard, and Starbucks is the elixir of happiness.
8. Lie: "I'll get all of my work for this week done this weekend, and be stress-free all week."
Reality: Weekends are for sleeping in 'til noon, binge-watching on Netflix, and feeling super guilty Sunday night for accomplishing absolutely nothing.
