These are the worst music videos that you have never seen.
1. Alison Gold – "Chinese Food"
Why it's terrible: This song is a 3 minute and 28 second song about Chinese Food. CHINESE FOOD. I feel like this song is racist in some way. It's sung by like a 12-year-old who mentions in the first couple seconds that she goes clubbing. Even the workers in this song are 12 except for the one guy.
Why its great: Need a walking to Panda theme song? This song is perfect for you. Plus there is a stalker Panda and that whole strange situation is just kind of entertaining in itself. (Spoiler: the Panda turns out to be the creepy rapper from 'Friday' #throwback)
PS. If you want to see another bad music starring this girl, watch this. There are several drug and alcohol references that girls her age should not be exposed to...
2. Double Take - "Hot Problems"
Okay you've probably heard of this one. It went viral for awhile.
Why it's terrible: The autotune is actually super painful. The rap is absolutely terrible, and this song actually leaves you wondering who on Earth has the self esteem to write a song about how hot they are and post it on the Internet.
Why it's great: It gives you insight into the terrible struggle that it is to be one of the world's more beautiful people. If you are one of those people, these girls understand.
3. Jenna Rose – "My Jeans"
Why it's terrible: Once again, the autotune in this song might just make your ears bleed. It will give you a flashback to your awkward early middle school years when oh my gosh KEKE PALMER was much more relevant than she is now. (Props on her Broadway run though.)
Why it's great: Jack my swag. This song will give you some great catchphrases. (If you ever want to annoy the heck out of your roommate: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeLdJBpuOXs) You will laugh as several hundred young girls cram into a car driven by a 12-year-old and as Baby Triggy and his hype man have an awkward rap solo. This music video is so bad it's just great; it will make you want to finger draw a smile.
4. Jenna Rose (again) – "O.M.G."
Why it's terrible: Okay so remember the almost adorably awkward girl from the music video you just watched? Here she is a little later. Like literally what the heck just happened? This music video actually makes me kind of uncomfortable and very concerned for the future of our society. I actually really don't recommend watching much of this music video.
Why it's great: There's really not much that's great about this. It just goes to show what one music video can do to a person. On the bright side, you can learn a new meaning to the phrase "Boom boom" and learn a nifty new dance. (see gif)
5. Kellie Luvella – "Down"
Why it's terrible: The lyrics. Oh my good gosh the lyrics. What on Earth is she even talking about? And what is she wearing literally the entire music video? It's like she was trying to be Lady Gaga or something, but failed so incredibly epically.
Why its great: Okay the story line is super hard to follow I know, but seriously watch it until the end: PLOT TWIST OF THE CENTURY.
6. William Tapley – "Mitt Romney, A Hero in My Mind"
Why it's terrible: Mitt Romney is no longer running for president (#sadface for this dude) so according to this guy, we're all going to die.
Why it's great: If you want a terrible music video with a splash of politics, this one is for you. This guy really really wants Mitt Romney to be president. In fact, he cares so much that he wrote a little song on his keyboard that he plays in front of a scenic river green screen backdrop. It's less than two minutes long, but it's two minutes of your life you'll never get back.
7. Tay Allyn – "Mass Text"
Why it's terrible: This chick is actually seriously trying to get a career. Unlike the people before who just made stupid videos or were teenagers thinking they were cool, she is actually trying to have a career in music. As in she went to USC and has this on her website.
"Tay is a graduate from the USC School of Theatre and Music where she was the Commencement Speaker for her class. Her new breed of Pop is Ke$ha without the sex, and Lady Gaga without the avant garde— what are you left with? Tay singing about mundane things of everyday life to hot beats! It’s sassy, fun, and RELATABLE."
Like seriously? It also says Justin Timberlake and MySpace picked her as the Top Upcoming Artist of 2013. Seriously JT?
Why it's good: You are not this person. That is why it's good. I'm sure she's a lovely lady, but this song is just so bad.
8. Leslie Hall – "Tight Pants/Body Rolls"
I HAVE NO WORDS FOR THIS ONE. WHAT THE HECK.
