We’ve all been around our fair share of weed because I mean it’s college right? Everyone is trying to find themselves and figure out what they enjoy most. Every stoner is unique; some know their rightful place, while others don’t even know they’re sitting dead smack in the middle of the category. Next time you are in a puff-puff pass rotation full of your quirky stoner friends, take a good hard look around. Figure out who’s who with this list of different stoners, and give yourself a good laugh. Here’s a list of the different types of stoners:
The Paranoid Stoner:
Oh how we would love to just shut this one up. They just can’t stop worrying about everything that’s going on around them. “Why are you staring at me?” “Did you hear that?” “Am I going to die?” “OMG I’m so high!” Dude just mellow out and chill. The high will pass soon. Just sit back, and enjoy the ride.
The Euphoric Stoner:
This stoner is always a good time. All these thoughts are rushing through their head so fast it fills their bodies up with enjoyment. They tell the best stories, and make you think you can accomplish just about anything this world has to offer. Hold on, they might get so lost in their stories and encouragement that the blunt never fully gets passed around.
The Functional Stoner:
The stoner we all wish to be. You would never think in a million years this person smoked marijuana. This person can write a paper, work out, and talk in fully comprehendible sentences. They can only function when high, and then go on about their days.
The Mute Stoner:
You will find this stoner in the corner of the room. They are either smiling so much it hurts, staring until their eyes fall out, or giggling so hard it passes around to the rest of the circle.
The Innovative Stoner:
This one is the overachiever. They space out for a thought to come back with some genius idea. They makeshift all sorts of bongs, pipes, and any other new creative way to smoke the ganja. Prepare yourselves fellow stoners; you might learn some new things that day.
The Sleepy Stoner:
This stoner is all around lazy as f***. This person takes one rip of the bong, and automatically passes out. They wake up with aches and pains because what they thought was a fluffy cloud was just an old couch they slept on the night before.
The Contact High “Stoner”:
This person isn’t a true and honored stoner. They may claim themselves as a stoner, but can’t kick it like a stoner. They take baby hits, and spend the rest of the night sitting around until the room gets filled with clouds.
The Denial Stoner:
This is your all time stoner. They rip bong hits harder than anyone, roll joints to a t, and are an open encyclopedia on marijuana. The only problem is they can’t accept they are in fact a stoner. Stop with the excuses pal, and face the facts.
You can be a little bit of everything, or something new. When you’re in your circle try to find other new stoners to add on to the list.
