Disclaimer 1: this will contain a lot of satirical opinions about fast-food chains and characters from The Office.
Disclaimer 2: I consider certain pizza places fast-food.

1. Erin Hannon, played by Chick-Fil-A

The Chick-Fil-A aesthetic: white and red trim, vague instrumentals of contemporary Christian songs, and employees saying "my pleasure." Erin could easily fit in amongst the employees of every Chick-Fil-A I've ever been to, which is why it was MY PLEASURE to choose this fast-food chain to play her in the next reboot of The Office.

2. Oscar Martinez, played by Wendy's

"Fresh, never frozen, beef." I feel like Wendy's has the appearance of being put together, but then you go to a store and see ketchup on the tables, sticky tile floors, and employees that would rather be anywhere else. If that doesn't describe Oscar, I don't know what does. The 4 for $4 is pretty cool.

3. Angela Martin, played by Papa John's

"Better ingredients, better pizza." Papa John's always acts high and mighty about their pizza. In reality, it's okay, sometimes. As long as they remember to cut the pizza. And we can't forget the six pounds of flour that they put on the crust to cover the up the wimpy pizza beneath. Angela, no amount of cat's or crucifixes can cover up what you did, you uncut pizza. Don't forget the garlic sauce either.

4. Dwight Schrute, played by KFC

I have to applaud KFC a little bit for their recent advertising campaign. Reba McEntire as the Colonel? Comedy gold. The food's okay.

5. Ryan Howard, played by Hardee's

Remember when Hardee's had the All-American Burger that had potato chips, hot dogs, and extra pickles? If someone wasn't on drugs when they had that idea, then Ryan can be played by another fast-food chain. I can't wait to see what they do next.

6. Kelly Kapoor, played by Arby's

Unless you get the Beef 'n Cheddar at Arby's, you never know what you're gonna get. But like Ryan, I can't seem to stop going back. Something about that cheese and roast beef just speaks to me.

7. Phyllis Vance, played by Popeye's

The commercials for Popeye's are incredibly welcoming. They make it seem like every visit to the restaurant will be like walking into grandma's kitchen. Wrong. It's still a fast-food restaurant, and it will still make you feel bad.

8. Andy Bernard, played by Jimmy John's

Have you ever been to Jimmy John's? They are so full of themselves. All the signs that talk about how special their sandwiches are. It's just meat, cheese, bread, and maybe some veggies. You're not special. Except the wrap made of lettuce. That's pretty cool.