Here are the seventy-five thoughts every college freshmen has had.
1. I'm changing my major.
2. I forgot what good sleep is.
3. I wish my blood was caffeine.
4. I wonder how long this M&M has been on the floor?
5. I wonder if Takis and peanut butter will taste good together...because that's all I have in my dorm.
6. $5 in my bank account? I can make that last awhile.
7. *sees someone asleep on the floor* same buddy, same.
8. This is fine. Everything's fine.
9. *hears seniors say "It only gets worse from here!"* *shudders violently*
10. How badly do I really need to go to class today?
11. Will that quiz really affect my grade?
12. I've made up my mind. I'm not going to class today.
13. Does my professor think I'm an idiot?
14. Wait, does my professor even know my name?
15. I can wear this shirt again. My Tuesday/Thursday people don't know my MWF life.
16. Should I stop for coffee on the way to class?
17. Should I even bother going to class?
18. *contemplates skipping class and passes professor*
19. "Can I go to the restroom?" *remembers I'm in college*
20. *goes the restroom, never returns to class, starts a new life under a fake name*
21. I should call my mom again...for the third time...today.
22. Look, a dog! Should I ask the owner...wait, I'm already petting it.
23. Do I want to pay for real food today or get cafeteria food for free?
24. I'm so broke.
25. So I'm going to treat myself. Go big or go home, right?
26. Is it acceptable to lie on the floor in this building?
27. Will they judge me if I literally just lie here on the floor? Whoops, already doing it.
28. I miss my dog.
29. I miss my mom.
30. I miss my bed.
31. I miss high school.
32. Wait, nope, nevermind. I just miss having zero homework and seeing all my friends 24/7.
33. The wi-fi here is the worst.
34. I'm so hungry.
35. I'm also exhausted.
36. But I have fourteen papers due tomorrow and six tests on Wednesday.
37. *leaves the library and realizes three months have passed*
38. I really need to work out.
39. But the rec center is SO far away.
40. Walking there would be a workout in itself.
41. And then why would I have walked there?
42. So it's decided. I'll lay on the floor and eat junk food and watch Netflix.
43. I have so many obligations this week.
44. How many can I avoid?
45. I really need to be more social.
46. I really need to eat better.
47. But the cafeteria's "health" station does not look remotely edible.
48. AND IT'S 50 CENT CORN DOG DAY AT SONIC. That's it.
49. What even is the freshman 15?
50. Did I have homework?
51. Shoot, we have a test today?
52. Crap crap crap. I don't know anything on this test.
53. It's possible she mentioned this historical figure at one point...but I can't be sure...
54. Should I wait until someone else finishes to turn my test in?
55. Screw this. If I leave now, I could get a nap in before my next class.
56. How do I wash this?
57. Laundry is hard.
58. Adulting is hard.
59. If I set my alarm for my 9AM, I should get up at 8:00 so I can take a shower, do my makeup, and pick out something nice to wear.
60. Let's be realistic.
61. 8:45 AM it is.
62. I want to go to sleep, but I still have so much to do before tomorrow.
63. Do I want to start on my paper?
64. I could study for that test.
65. Crap, I still have reading for that quiz tomorrow.
66. And another paper due.
67. And a project due Friday.
68. Maybe I'll pull an all-nighter.
69. Okay, all-nighter it is.
70. Time for coffee.
71. *scrolls through instagram for six hours*
72. Crap, it's 4AM and I still have to start my homework.
73. But I'm so...so...tired.
74. If I go to bed now, I could get up at 8 and still have time to do everything before class.
75. What a great idea. Time for bed.
