2016 is just around the corner, and the illusion of a fresh start is fooling people all over the world once again! "This will be my year!" you think as you make this exact list of the seven things you want to change about the way you live your life in 2016. However, as soon as February rolls around, you'll look back and realize that you maybe half-assedly kept one of these resolutions, but unfortunately, neglected the rest. Here are the seven resolutions you'll make for 2016 that you won't keep.
1.Stopping Drinking
As you down your 7th shot of the night at midnight this year, you'll drunkenly yell to your friends, "CHEERS TO MY FIRST AND ONLY SHOT OF 2016!" However, once the weekend rolls around and all of your friends are going out Friday night, this resolution will quickly fade. You rationalize that as long as you don't have a serious problem, college is the only time in your life you have permission to go a little overboard every once in a while.
2. Getting Fit
Ah, the quintessential New Year's Resolution that never follows through: getting fit. We all write this one down every year, and neglect it just the same. "But this year will be different!", you think. "This year I made a fitness plan!". Of course you did. But that fitness plan will be in the garbage as soon as you realize that the stair climber is actually a torture chamber and that kale makes you sad. Another fifteen extra pounds won't really make a difference, right?
3. Going Vegan
It's great for the environment, it's great for your health, and it's great to live without the guilt of knowing that you're contributing to the cruel, corrupt meat and dairy industry. In the New Year, you decide you're going to go vegan. This one works for about a week, but as soon as you see that flourless chocolate cake in the dining hall and smell a whiff of your friend's mac n cheese, you realize that you don't have enough self control to be a vegan. Your heart wants you to be vegan, but your stomach disagrees.
4. Getting Organized
You have no idea where anything is in your dorm room. Your clothes are haphazardly stuffed in your dresser and all of your schoolwork is in one overflowing folder. This year, it's finally time to get organized. But who has time for that? Once you return to your ridiculously busy schedule, you'll soon realize why you were so disorganized in the first place.
5. Getting a 4.0
For many college students the new year also means the beginning of a new semester. Although last semester didn't go quite as planned, this year you were going to be so diligent that you would finally get the grades you deserve! However, for the same reasons #4 didn't work, this one will probably fall through the cracks as soon as you get your first calc midterm back.
6. Saving Money
No more making excuses, you're an adult now. You can't be spending money on frivolous activities like concerts and expensive lattés and sweaters. It's time to be frugal. Pretty soon you'll have to pay off all of your debt and rent your own apartment. But wait that shirt is so cute.... and i'm so hungry for a $20 meal... and wow my third favorite band is coming to town next week.... $300 in one week isn't too much, right?
7. Backpacking through Europe
As a typical college student, your adventurous spirit has led to your intense wanderlust. There's so much to discover, see, and experience in this world. This year is the year that you're going to take a few months off to backpack through Europe and stay in youth hostels. You'll have the experience of a lifetime!-- if only you had the money. Even though youth hostels are supposed to be affordable, they always add up in a big way. Not to mention, that overseas plane ticket will be at least $1500 round trip and you have to factor in spending for food and souvenirs. Because #6 didn't really work out, this one will be next to impossible. Instead, you'll probably spend the summer of 2016 working at a coffee shop in your hometown to pay off the money you spent carelessly during the school year.
But hey, there's always next year?
