After spending a great deal of time in airports this weekend--waiting in a lot of lines, carrying around a couple of bags and only getting lost a little bit--I decided to write about the seven types of people I saw along the way:
1. The Robot
People who can successfully get up, dodge obstacles, purchase a magazine and return to their seat all while never lifting their head from their phones are as equally unnerving as they are impressive.
2. The Supermodel
For every 20 women wearing comfortable clothing and practical shoes, there will be at least one brave woman who dares to stand out of the sea of Nike and Adidas by wearing heels. In my experience, I've found that height of heels and happiness have a strong negative correlation in which one increases while the other decreases. This is why I'm in awe when I see women gracefully strutting across the airport and looking as ecstatic as Chris Pratt to be doing so.
3. The Honeymooners
It doesn't matter what time it is or where you're headed, you're bound to come across a couple who can't keep their hands off of each other.
4. The Guy In The Back Corner
You know the one I'm talking about. Headphones in, eyes closed, mouth in varying degrees of openness--this is the guy with the ability to sleep through anything. In fact, he misses every single one of the boarding announcements and only makes it on the plane because a stranger kindly taps him on the shoulder before leaving the seat next to him.
5. The stressed, anxious, exhausted and tense parent (i.e. pack mule, direction giver, and hand-holder) whose fully-stocked carry ons left them well prepared to handle any situation except for the crisis currently unfolding before them.
A special thanks to all the parents out there for being the reason coffee and alcohol can be found in every terminal.
6. The Hot Messes
If you ever had to rush to make a connecting flight, you may have fallen into this category. These are the people who repeat a continuous cycle of checking their watches, sighing heavily and fidgeting until that miraculous moment when they see the light at the gate, the checkpoint from which they can break out into a bizarre take on the walk/jog and destroy anything and everything that comes into their path.
7. The People Watchers
If this is the group I fall into, am I allowed to call these the cool people? Yes, the term "people watcher" is way creepy, but hey, at least it means I had time to make small talk as I bought coffee, didn't break my ankle while I walked at an appropriate pace to my gate and stayed awake long enough to sit back, relax and write an article about everyone else.
