When I first downloaded Tinder I was lost. It had been about two years since I had been in the dating pool and there was no guidebook on the right way to use a dating app. I didn't know which pictures would be the best to post, what to say in my bio, or let alone what to message people that I was interested in getting to know. After many trials and errors, I've got my Tinder game down and am ready to share what I have learned about online dating in hopes of helping others who felt as lost as I did when I first got in the game.
1. Less Selfies More Action Shots
While selfies are great and they sometimes are the best pictures we have of ourselves, too many selfies can hurt your profile rather than help it. The problem with selfies are they don't say anything about who you are or what you like to do. Sure they might show off how attractive you are but when it comes to online dating people want to see more than just a pretty face. Action shots of you doing your favorite activities or fun vacation photos not only reveal a lot about who you are but give potential matches ideas of what they could talk to you about. It is a good way to show off yourself as a person of high value who likes to have a good time and to give people something to go off of so they don't feel lost when it comes to breaking the ice.
When I first downloaded Tinder I made the mistake of only uploading selfies. While I still got matches, I didn't intrigue people or make them want to get to know me better. Once I uploaded more actions shots I got more matches AND more messages. People saw that my life looked interesting and fun which made them want to get to know the girl behind the photos.
2. Confidence Is Key
Posting photos that aren't of you or covering your face in every photo will get you nowhere. While looks aren't everything, it says a lot about what you think about yourself if you don't post any photos of you. Hiding who you are shows that you aren't confident, and confidence is key when it comes to meeting potential partners. So don't be afraid to post a picture of yourself even if you are self-conscious, the world is a big place and there are people out there who will be interested in you.
3. Have a Bio That Creates Conversation
When writing your bio write something that provokes conversation. The more someone knows about you and the things you like, the easier it will be for people to strike up a conversation with you. However, that doesn't mean write a whole paragraph on who you are that no one will take the time to read. Find a way to keep it fun, short and to the point.
4. Get Creative With the First Message
Don't be that person that sends the pickup line that someone has already received 10 different times from other people. When guys do this to me it doesn't make me want to reply and it doesn't make them stand out to me in any way. If you're going to use a pickup line, be original. Don't Google pickup lines and use the first one that pops up. If you can't think of a good pickup line, use their bio or pictures to figure out what the person's interests are and strike up a conversation off of that.
5. Skip the Small Talk
No one wants to sit there and only make small talk. The way to get people to find you interesting is to have an interesting conversation. If the only thing you and your match talk about is how each other's days went, chances are you won't get very far. The more fun your conversation is the more likely you are to stand out to your matches and the more likely they'll want to hang out and get to know you better.
6. Know How Much is Too Much
We've all dealt with that one person who just won't leave us alone or sends us overly sexual messages to the point where we feel uncomfortable. Don't be that person that messages someone five times without them responding or that tries to guilt trip people into responding. This makes you look annoying and sometimes desperate. Know where the line is and don't cross it. Coming off as needy or creepy will not help you get somewhere with someone. If a person you're interested in isn't showing interest, move on and try seeing where it goes with someone else.
7. Know What You Want and Go For It
Know what your end goal is. If it's to just hook up, be upfront about it. No one likes getting strung along or used. If your end goal is to get a date and see where things go, ask the person you've been talking to out on a date. It doesn't have to be hard. Use their interests to your advantage. If you know they like music and you and your friends are checking out a new band later in the week, invite the person you've been talking to. Don't waste your time just talking to people and having it go nowhere. Know what your end goal is and go for it.
Happy Tindering!
