For the longest time, until at least I got a healthy dose of life (and discovered tumblr), I thought that feminism was a bunch of angry old ladies who hated men, hated babies, and hated everyone who wasn't a woman. Not until I pulled my head out of my own ass did I realize that I was exactly who these people of all ages, genders, and races were trying to reach: people who were un-educated. I can proudly say that I'm a feminist now and I want to spread the word of what we stand for and, of course, debunk the myths surrounding us.
1. We don’t hate men.
Before someone begins the feeble outcry of, “But not allllllll men…!” I’ll lay it out for you here. Feminists don’t hate men. Feminists don’t hate men. Feminists don’t hate men. Feminists don’t hate men. We hate some people (i.e. rapists, violent homophobes, child molesters, misogynists, abusers, etc.) who happen to be men, but that is justified. It doesn’t mean that we automatically throw you on our Shit List if you identify as a male. We want people of all genders to unite and end misogyny, sexism, and inequality that is still so prevalent today. Men aren’t the problem. People who are against feminism are.
2. We’re not anti-motherhood.
Motherhood, childbearing, and childbirth are altogether kind of the most badass thing a person can do. Yes, feminists are inherently pro-choice – but that’s the thing: choice. If you want to be a mother, that’s great. If you never want kids, that’s cool. If you have an abortion, that’s fine. It’s all up to YOU. There is no one – no man, no woman, no friend, no parent, no political figure, etc. – who can tell YOU how to live YOUR life. Feminism is about respect and equality. It’s no one’s right nor duty to judge anyone for how they live their lives. It’s quite liberating, actually.
3. We’re not anti-marriage.
A lot of people – all genders, races, and walks of life – see marriage as a trap and this ideology is especially suspected of feminists. It’s not necessarily a bad way to view things – heck, it’s your choice (see #2). Marriage is a fantastic and somewhat scary journey that you and the person that you want by your side through the awesome and through the awful (I’m going through the scary part now: wedding planning and budgeting) and we don’t care if you get married. We don’t care if you never get married. If it makes you happy, if you respect yourself, then that’s all we really want.
4. We’re not anti-religion.
Although, you can’t deny that some religions are anti-feminism. Religion can be a wonderful thing, but there are definitely some things that I and scores of other feminists disagree with. I was raised in a vehemently Christian household, and sometimes things just didn’t seem right to me, even as a child. Various preachers and adults in my church had said that women shouldn’t be pastors – that it was a man’s job. I’m not overtly religious now, but I’m fairly sure that God doesn’t care about what’s in between the legs of the person who is delivering his message.
5. We don’t think women are superior to men (that’s kind of our whole thing).
Feminism is defined as: “the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.” That’s all we want. Ever seen that shirt that says “Girls just wanna have fun-damental rights?” That’s it. As a former employee of Victoria’s Secret, I cannot express how often I experienced being spoken to differently than my male coworkers. My male coworkers were never called “sweetheart” or “baby,” but were respected as an equal. One of the most repulsive experiences I had with sexism was a situation in which a man, who was old enough to be my grandfather, told me that: “All women want is sex and chocolate. That’s all there is to ‘em!” I very politely in my nineteen-year-old way at the time said, “’Kay.”
6. We aren’t sluts (in fact, we’d like to erase that word from the language completely).
There's a clip from "Definitely, Maybe" where a little girl questions what the boy's word for slut is, to which Ryan Reynolds's character responds, "They still haven't come up with one yet." Then there's the saying that I heard for the first time when I was fourteen, something akin to: "What do you call a key that can open all locks? The Master Key. Well, what do you call a lock that opens up for all keys? A pretty crappy lock." Which, of course, insinuates that a male "slut" is hailed as somewhat of a hero or god for sleeping with however many women, but if a woman sleeps with the same amount of men, she's called a slut. There's no in between. Think of the four basic female archetypes that have spanned literature and art throughout human history: the virgin, the mother, the whore, and the crone. It's a more than primitive ideal, but how many girls do you know who've been called a prude because they're waiting until marriage to have sex? But how many more times are virgins sexualized in films, books, and everyday life? How many times do men call women called sluts and whores for working in the sex industry, when these very women are the ones that those men lust over, watch porn to, and spend money on? We scorn the women that we want to be, shame the women that we think lower of. It's a mindset of hypocrisy. It makes no sense. As stated in #2, we don't care if you're a veterinarian or a stripper. There is no such thing as a slut. There is not a prude and a whore: there is a woman who does whatever she wants with her body and there is a woman who does whatever she wants with her body.
7. We’re not here just for women.
A lot of anti-feminists think that we're only doing this for women. Not true. We're here for everyone. Sexism hurts men, too. How disgusting would it be if you were a well-educated, nice guy and you were branded as a sex-crazed maniac with only one thing on his mind? How upsetting would it be to be called a girl if you cried when you were in your twenties? It hurts men, women, and those who identify as both, neither, or something different. Sexism hurts everyone. We're not just here for the women who have been called sluts all of their lives, but for the women who have been teased and shamed for "not getting any." We're not just here for our gay girls, but for our gay boys, too. We're here to push to a world that is free of prejudice. We're here for a society that doesn't thrive on bringing its members down. We're here to change the world.
