Wait... 5 things I Hate About You. Because seven is a tad bit overkill:

1. You’re insecure. You walk around like you know what you’re saying but we all know the only person you’re kidding is yourself. You want people to think you’re smart so you use words like “essentially” and you only drink fair trade coffee. You want people to think you’re important, so you make up stories about your boring weekends. You want people to think about you so you do anything for a response.
2. You’re vain. Everything is about you, isn’t it? Well, I really cannot blame you for that terrible point of view - mommy and daddy told you a long time ago that you were special. You feel entitled to everything. You complain when your precious day does not go as planned. And what do you do when your day isn’t the fairytale that Grandma Sugarcoat and Godmother Brightside promised? All hell breaks loose.
3. Your friends. They look like the 57th page of SoYouWannaBeOriginal Magazine. They absorb everything that media has to offer and run with it. Snapchat is the only way to prove they are unique so they plan events around how good the snap story would be. They go to college and study engineering -- because Uncle Benjamin promised them a big house once they’re 30-- from sunday to thursday morning and do everything imaginable to escape their empty useless minds from thursday night to saturday. They pretend to like each other so that their profile pictures on the cloud stay cool. On instagram, there are more followers on their page than there are people they follow. It creates the illusion that people want to be them.
4. Your phone. The first thing you run to when you wake up. The last thing you stare at before you stare at your eyelids for 8 hours. You freak out if it dies, or if it falls, or if it doesn’t wake you up, or if your call drops, or if it doesn’t tell you the weather, or if it doesn’t tell you what to do.
5. You. Just you.