Dating in a generation that is all about themselves can be a challenge for those of us who just want to give back to the world. Toxic relationships and people are something that I need to learn to cut out of my life. Dating someone who doesn't believe in the give and take is exhausting and can wear you out. There are common red flags that many people ignore because they fall in love, and those flaws become accepted and loved.
As I get older I am realizing that I no longer deserve to be taken advantage of, but I constantly am attracted to the wrong people. Let's be honest, that ego and arrogance in a guy is sexy and I want to be with someone who is confident. So here was my experience dating multiple narcissists, if you find yourself in these situations time to run. Find someone better, who loves you as much as they love themselves.
1. They don't love you, they love the things you do for them.
They use you to feed their own ego, you doing nice things for them is expected because they think they are SO wonderful. You might clean something for them, or bring them dinner then they expect it. Ever heard of the word appreciation?
2. They might act like they care about you, but it's probably fake.
They don't know how to care about anyone but number 1. So they might date you for a little while until they find something better, then dump you like you never even mattered. They're so selfish they don't even consider how their actions affect other people's feelings or lives.
3. Flaws? What flaws? I'm perfect!
They think even their flaws are amazing, i.e. being dirty. But instead of fixing it, or admitting they need to better themselves, they almost embrace it and expect you to as well.
4. They will drain you.
You will start to wonder why you feel like you have given so much. It's because you have, you give everything to make this other person happy who doesn't really care and then they give nothing in return. They don't care about your needs, wants, dreams or hopes because they only have enough room for their own. You will constantly give up things that make you happy and never get any sacrifice in return. It's really sad that good people can be taken advantage of so easily.
5. If you don't agree to what they want, lay on the guilt and pity party.
If you don't give them their way they will throw a tantrum, guilt you, pity and sulk until you feel so bad that you give in. If you are easy to convince and a people pleaser you are the narcissist's perfect target.
6. They must be the center of attention.
This can include anything from negative to positive attention, but if they aren't the talk of the party then it automatically sucks and they must leave. I have been in situations where I was mortified because the person I was with just wanted attention.
7. They're a master of manipulation.
Part of life is not always getting what you want or not always having life work out the way you want it to. That being said, the traditional narcissist doesn't understand this. They will play into any game in order to get their way. This can include hurting others, and saying/doing things out of character in order to gain approval.
